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At My Witt's End
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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 756624" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>Ditto to that. Maybe he senses a new resolve in you and is trying to derail anything that might come of it. It sounds just a bit manipulative to me, and it doesn't justify screaming and yelling in your face. And I agree, you are doing well. I think you handled the conversation about the lawn mower very well. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Copa, I can echo this, about feeling bad about myself around my son. Around our son, I feel like I have to weigh and measure each word, and I still come out as the "bad guy" in his eyes. Yesterday, he was going on and on about some political stuff, and I commented, "You know, I think you would be happier in life if you would not be so negative and cynical." And his response was, "You're one of the most negative, cynical people I know." Ouch.</p><p> No matter what I do for him in terms of kindness and love, he will always see me as a "negative, angry, selfish b**ch." I can never win with him, and I'm tired of even trying to change his mind. On the outside, he can appear to be pleasant and "nice" intermittently, but I know that his view of us hasn't really changed from the ugly things he said to us while still in Denver. I'm going to be kind but I'm not going to allow myself to be deceived into thinking he suddenly cares about us. </p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>JayPee, don't beat yourself up. The emotional pain of seeing your child, whom you love so much, living the way these kids do, is so raw sometimes that it feels almost physically painful. We all have those moments. I have done things for Josh just to ease the emotional pain in my own heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 756624, member: 22597"] Ditto to that. Maybe he senses a new resolve in you and is trying to derail anything that might come of it. It sounds just a bit manipulative to me, and it doesn't justify screaming and yelling in your face. And I agree, you are doing well. I think you handled the conversation about the lawn mower very well. Copa, I can echo this, about feeling bad about myself around my son. Around our son, I feel like I have to weigh and measure each word, and I still come out as the "bad guy" in his eyes. Yesterday, he was going on and on about some political stuff, and I commented, "You know, I think you would be happier in life if you would not be so negative and cynical." And his response was, "You're one of the most negative, cynical people I know." Ouch. No matter what I do for him in terms of kindness and love, he will always see me as a "negative, angry, selfish b**ch." I can never win with him, and I'm tired of even trying to change his mind. On the outside, he can appear to be pleasant and "nice" intermittently, but I know that his view of us hasn't really changed from the ugly things he said to us while still in Denver. I'm going to be kind but I'm not going to allow myself to be deceived into thinking he suddenly cares about us. JayPee, don't beat yourself up. The emotional pain of seeing your child, whom you love so much, living the way these kids do, is so raw sometimes that it feels almost physically painful. We all have those moments. I have done things for Josh just to ease the emotional pain in my own heart. [/QUOTE]
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