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At My Witt's End
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 756644" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Maybe when the dust settles you can get some ducks or geese or chickens for your backyard. I am going to. There's a house downtown that seems to have at least a dozen geese (too many to be legal but nobody seems to care). He lets them out every day into the front yard and onto the sidewalk. He's on the corner in a big victorian house. I see them out there all the time. </p><p>NOOO! What I am worried about and you too (see below) is the boomerang effect. What comes back at you as a consequence of telling them.</p><p>If you are having this kind of fear, I would back off. You seem to be concerned about two things, your ability to cope, and what your son and this woman might do to you, whether it would be to hurt you or to act in such a way as to cause stress and discomfort.</p><p></p><p>I think you know that your son has presented a threat, and currently is causing you distress. There is an X factor of how violent he might become and how much he will act out towards you. To me, these are red flags. I believe, truly, you need help to deal with this. Whether a therapist, Al Anon, a domestic violence counselor or a counselor through elder abuse, the police, the district attorney for a restraining order or all of the above. Personally, I would not force myself to do something without support and back up. I think that would be self-destructive. They are 2 against one. Your son has been violent and aggressive before. He has an anger management problem. There has been (or is) addiction. Your concern is real. I would take yourself seriously. You are responsible to protect yourself. Nothing is gained if this blows up in your face. There needs to be a plan, a safety plan, that gets them out and keeps you safe, emotionally and physically.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 756644, member: 18958"] Maybe when the dust settles you can get some ducks or geese or chickens for your backyard. I am going to. There's a house downtown that seems to have at least a dozen geese (too many to be legal but nobody seems to care). He lets them out every day into the front yard and onto the sidewalk. He's on the corner in a big victorian house. I see them out there all the time. NOOO! What I am worried about and you too (see below) is the boomerang effect. What comes back at you as a consequence of telling them. If you are having this kind of fear, I would back off. You seem to be concerned about two things, your ability to cope, and what your son and this woman might do to you, whether it would be to hurt you or to act in such a way as to cause stress and discomfort. I think you know that your son has presented a threat, and currently is causing you distress. There is an X factor of how violent he might become and how much he will act out towards you. To me, these are red flags. I believe, truly, you need help to deal with this. Whether a therapist, Al Anon, a domestic violence counselor or a counselor through elder abuse, the police, the district attorney for a restraining order or all of the above. Personally, I would not force myself to do something without support and back up. I think that would be self-destructive. They are 2 against one. Your son has been violent and aggressive before. He has an anger management problem. There has been (or is) addiction. Your concern is real. I would take yourself seriously. You are responsible to protect yourself. Nothing is gained if this blows up in your face. There needs to be a plan, a safety plan, that gets them out and keeps you safe, emotionally and physically. [/QUOTE]
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