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Parent Emeritus
At My Witt's End
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 756878" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You are not responsible for the conduct and decisions and thinking of another adult. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps your daughter evaluated your behavior, and decided that you would continue the gravy train forever. That she would never have to support herself or her children, that you because of your guilt, or love of her, or obligation or fear, would forever keep her boat afloat, and she would never, ever have to do it.</p><p></p><p>If that is the case, if she watched you forever taking responsibility, forever making decisions based upon fear, obligation and guilt, or FOG, you are responsible for part of this sad result. </p><p></p><p>You have a choice point here: You can decide that you will continue to enable her, continue to take care of her, because you can't bear to feel this pain. </p><p></p><p>While her choices are her responsibility, by deciding to take responsibility for her, you risk taking away incentive for her to change. You will vote against her ability to be a strong, powerful and responsible woman and mother. Remember the satisfaction that you have felt from taking control of your life and your home. This is what is at stake for her, as well.</p><p></p><p>I am writing this not to be hard on you but to back you up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 756878, member: 18958"] You are not responsible for the conduct and decisions and thinking of another adult. Perhaps your daughter evaluated your behavior, and decided that you would continue the gravy train forever. That she would never have to support herself or her children, that you because of your guilt, or love of her, or obligation or fear, would forever keep her boat afloat, and she would never, ever have to do it. If that is the case, if she watched you forever taking responsibility, forever making decisions based upon fear, obligation and guilt, or FOG, you are responsible for part of this sad result. You have a choice point here: You can decide that you will continue to enable her, continue to take care of her, because you can't bear to feel this pain. While her choices are her responsibility, by deciding to take responsibility for her, you risk taking away incentive for her to change. You will vote against her ability to be a strong, powerful and responsible woman and mother. Remember the satisfaction that you have felt from taking control of your life and your home. This is what is at stake for her, as well. I am writing this not to be hard on you but to back you up. [/QUOTE]
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