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At My Witt's End
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 756979" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I know how you feel, but your feelings here are not your friends. They are not telling you the truth. I am no different than you. But I believe self-love can come from a choice. I don't believe that we are forever destined to not care for ourselves, just because we were not loved as children, in the way we craved. I believe we have within us the capacity to love ourselves, be mothers to ourselves, in the way we needed, and still want.</p><p>I don't see this as your "self-destruction." Just as our knee-jerk is to treat ourselves with cruelty, we can learn an alternative way to be. Kind to ourselves. We need to learn a new way to be with ourselves, and then we need to practice it consistently, daily, minute by minute so that it becomes second nature. When we show up mean to ourselves we have an opportunity to identify it as than, and in that very second to stop it. </p><p>You are doing fantastically.</p><p></p><p>The only way we can do this is to show up warts and all. If we don't show up as we are, how do we change? Just because we hide away our pain, it lurks there, underneath influencing all of our attitudes and behavior. It is a great victory to show up damaged. Because then we know what we have to fix. And we do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 756979, member: 18958"] I know how you feel, but your feelings here are not your friends. They are not telling you the truth. I am no different than you. But I believe self-love can come from a choice. I don't believe that we are forever destined to not care for ourselves, just because we were not loved as children, in the way we craved. I believe we have within us the capacity to love ourselves, be mothers to ourselves, in the way we needed, and still want. I don't see this as your "self-destruction." Just as our knee-jerk is to treat ourselves with cruelty, we can learn an alternative way to be. Kind to ourselves. We need to learn a new way to be with ourselves, and then we need to practice it consistently, daily, minute by minute so that it becomes second nature. When we show up mean to ourselves we have an opportunity to identify it as than, and in that very second to stop it. You are doing fantastically. The only way we can do this is to show up warts and all. If we don't show up as we are, how do we change? Just because we hide away our pain, it lurks there, underneath influencing all of our attitudes and behavior. It is a great victory to show up damaged. Because then we know what we have to fix. And we do. [/QUOTE]
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