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Parent Emeritus
At My Witt's End
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 757463" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Overwhelmed...I am sorry you seem to be afraid to do anything for yourself, even medications and therapy. I get it, but nothing will ever change unless you do gather that courage. Think. Why can't you pick up your medications? Why can't you call the therapist? Define the words that make you fearful such as "ashamed" "embarrassed" "needy" "inferior" etc. I came up with words that I used to describe why I didn't do these things when talking to my therapist.</p><p></p><p>Once I defined the words, I found that it made things easier to do because my reasons seemed not good reasons to treat myself bad. I was an adult. I would need to stand up for me or forever live miserably.</p><p></p><p>When he asked me to come.up with words to define how I felt when I told my daughter no, it got worse. "Guilty, unloving, bad mother, afraid she wouldn't love me, terrified she wouldn't love me, horrified at the thought she may not love me" etc. With Al Anon and our therapist we did it.</p><p></p><p>Was it easy? No!!! It still isn't. But our lives are better now.</p><p></p><p>Overwhelmed, I will be frank however I do not mean for you to read this as harsh. Firm not harsh. And with love. Your life will be horrible forever unless you force yourself to do what is hardest for you. I don't know if you will. But that is the only answer. Also when you are gone your kids need to do okay without your help. So it is kind to STOP. If you can. It's hard. But we all do it. Or not.</p><p></p><p>Your life is in your hands.</p><p></p><p>Blessings and hugs. I hope the best for you even though it's hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 757463, member: 23706"] Overwhelmed...I am sorry you seem to be afraid to do anything for yourself, even medications and therapy. I get it, but nothing will ever change unless you do gather that courage. Think. Why can't you pick up your medications? Why can't you call the therapist? Define the words that make you fearful such as "ashamed" "embarrassed" "needy" "inferior" etc. I came up with words that I used to describe why I didn't do these things when talking to my therapist. Once I defined the words, I found that it made things easier to do because my reasons seemed not good reasons to treat myself bad. I was an adult. I would need to stand up for me or forever live miserably. When he asked me to come.up with words to define how I felt when I told my daughter no, it got worse. "Guilty, unloving, bad mother, afraid she wouldn't love me, terrified she wouldn't love me, horrified at the thought she may not love me" etc. With Al Anon and our therapist we did it. Was it easy? No!!! It still isn't. But our lives are better now. Overwhelmed, I will be frank however I do not mean for you to read this as harsh. Firm not harsh. And with love. Your life will be horrible forever unless you force yourself to do what is hardest for you. I don't know if you will. But that is the only answer. Also when you are gone your kids need to do okay without your help. So it is kind to STOP. If you can. It's hard. But we all do it. Or not. Your life is in your hands. Blessings and hugs. I hope the best for you even though it's hard. [/QUOTE]
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