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General Parenting
B’s obsession
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 740055" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I believe whatever you need to be able to handle this you should get. I believe you are holding all of this together. It is like the Greek goddess that holds the world in her arms. You know the image. That is you.</p><p></p><p>If you cannot handle the cards, you can't. He cannot come home.</p><p></p><p>I believe your sanity and sense of self matter as much or more right now than specific issues of your son's. If the treatment team cannot "get" that your feelings and coping matter, the whole thing needs to be reconceived. They are wrong. You are right.</p><p></p><p>At the same time your husband matters and your marriage matters. Your other children matter. You are a family. The whole cannot be sacrificed for a part. My heart aches for you and your husband. He is suffering too.</p><p></p><p>If you can I would urge you to put the brakes on this. Read your words. You feel like the freight train is coming and you are tied to the tracks. Free yourself. Whatever it takes. How is b served by your being run over, sacrificed. And your other kids?</p><p></p><p>I don't care whether this is a hallmark of his illness. You are his mother. Not his treatment team. If he can't tolerate being without his cards, he needs to be in an environment where his symptoms can be tolerated and contained and hopefully moderated. Nobody should force you or judge you. You are a mother. Of three. Not just one. And a wife. And a person. You count.</p><p></p><p>You can walk this back. You have power.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 740055, member: 18958"] I believe whatever you need to be able to handle this you should get. I believe you are holding all of this together. It is like the Greek goddess that holds the world in her arms. You know the image. That is you. If you cannot handle the cards, you can't. He cannot come home. I believe your sanity and sense of self matter as much or more right now than specific issues of your son's. If the treatment team cannot "get" that your feelings and coping matter, the whole thing needs to be reconceived. They are wrong. You are right. At the same time your husband matters and your marriage matters. Your other children matter. You are a family. The whole cannot be sacrificed for a part. My heart aches for you and your husband. He is suffering too. If you can I would urge you to put the brakes on this. Read your words. You feel like the freight train is coming and you are tied to the tracks. Free yourself. Whatever it takes. How is b served by your being run over, sacrificed. And your other kids? I don't care whether this is a hallmark of his illness. You are his mother. Not his treatment team. If he can't tolerate being without his cards, he needs to be in an environment where his symptoms can be tolerated and contained and hopefully moderated. Nobody should force you or judge you. You are a mother. Of three. Not just one. And a wife. And a person. You count. You can walk this back. You have power. [/QUOTE]
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