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B’s obsession
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<blockquote data-quote="B’smom" data-source="post: 740061" data-attributes="member: 23359"><p>You’re absolutely right. I’ve been trying to get the husband to understand this. I think he’s slowly understanding the impact of the entire family because of B. </p><p></p><p>My youngest wants to play soccer this fall. But with B, getting him to do anything is a struggle (ex: we asked him to try on his new shoes, he screamed and swore for 5-10mins). So imagine having to pack him up for an activity that’s not for him, having him sit there for 45min while his brother plays. </p><p></p><p>So My little one’s wants are sacrificed for B. Hubby and I work mostly opposite shifts, leaving him home is not an option. Over and over again we sacrifice for B’s needs. We don’t go out because of B. </p><p></p><p>I did speak with his mental health worker in our town last week. I was very honest with her that I don’t think I want him back. At least not full time. She spoke about applying for funding to have people consistently come in and be with him so we can manage (our government is moving towards that because it’s cheaper). That funding process I guess is long and unlikely he’ll qualify. Im applying anyways despite my want: I don’t want people in my house, I want him out. But the thought of B gone completely also breaks my heart.</p><p></p><p>My only other option is putting him in care. Since I doubt anyone is equipped to care for B in our area, we’ll end up in a group home hours away. Something that also breaks my heart. She pointed out what I was already aware of: CAS (CPS in the states) will step in if he hurts the little one badly enough. He attends a different school than B, even has a different last name. I wanted him to not be hindered from B’s history. This school does not know me or B. They’ll most likely call. I’m ok with that. I don’t think I’ll make a decision to “cut off” the hand to save the body until I’m left with little choice. </p><p></p><p>The only reason they haven’t stepped in already was because I work where the little one attended childcare. He’s had black eyes and bruises from B. They knew and trusted that A- I wasn’t me, B- that I’m doing everything I can to prevent it. </p><p>But I worry still, I’ve been debating on calling LO’s school and talking with the principal, explaining the situation. But then they’ll know and they’ll judge him for his brothers actions. I think I’ll do it anyways, try to be proactive with this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="B’smom, post: 740061, member: 23359"] You’re absolutely right. I’ve been trying to get the husband to understand this. I think he’s slowly understanding the impact of the entire family because of B. My youngest wants to play soccer this fall. But with B, getting him to do anything is a struggle (ex: we asked him to try on his new shoes, he screamed and swore for 5-10mins). So imagine having to pack him up for an activity that’s not for him, having him sit there for 45min while his brother plays. So My little one’s wants are sacrificed for B. Hubby and I work mostly opposite shifts, leaving him home is not an option. Over and over again we sacrifice for B’s needs. We don’t go out because of B. I did speak with his mental health worker in our town last week. I was very honest with her that I don’t think I want him back. At least not full time. She spoke about applying for funding to have people consistently come in and be with him so we can manage (our government is moving towards that because it’s cheaper). That funding process I guess is long and unlikely he’ll qualify. Im applying anyways despite my want: I don’t want people in my house, I want him out. But the thought of B gone completely also breaks my heart. My only other option is putting him in care. Since I doubt anyone is equipped to care for B in our area, we’ll end up in a group home hours away. Something that also breaks my heart. She pointed out what I was already aware of: CAS (CPS in the states) will step in if he hurts the little one badly enough. He attends a different school than B, even has a different last name. I wanted him to not be hindered from B’s history. This school does not know me or B. They’ll most likely call. I’m ok with that. I don’t think I’ll make a decision to “cut off” the hand to save the body until I’m left with little choice. The only reason they haven’t stepped in already was because I work where the little one attended childcare. He’s had black eyes and bruises from B. They knew and trusted that A- I wasn’t me, B- that I’m doing everything I can to prevent it. But I worry still, I’ve been debating on calling LO’s school and talking with the principal, explaining the situation. But then they’ll know and they’ll judge him for his brothers actions. I think I’ll do it anyways, try to be proactive with this. [/QUOTE]
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