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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 765518" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I am soooo very sorry to read this bluebell. <em>"I was diagnosed with breast cancer last July and I am having a full day of scans today to determine if I can stop treatment so I am having a hard time dealing with all of this. My diagnosis really made me more anxious about his future, since mine could be shortened. Please give me some sort of guidance on how to move forward every day and letting go of all of my efforts these past years to get him on track. I need help!" </em>This comment hit me like a freight train. I just went to the celebration of life memorial service for a friend who died of cancer a few weeks ago. The year prior, she had a LOT of stress in her life. NOT the kind we go through here, but nevertheless...extreme stress. My own mother died of cancer and she too had extreme stress the year before she died of cancer...again, not the same type of stress we experience here...but nevertheless stress. I believe extreme stress especially over long periods of time, can lower the immune system's ability to fight for itself. No doubt you know or suspect this as well. Since there is a lot of cancer in my family AND I have a different chronic illness...plus what I have sadly observed.....I think about this stuff!!!</p><p></p><p>So, it is IMPERATIVE that you do your very best to disengage from the extreme stress. And to detach from the craziness that your son is demonstrating. And the violence....NOPE...no way should that be tolerated. I'm assuming he is over 21? He is OLD ENOUGH to know better. Old enough to know that he is behaving horribly and needs help.</p><p></p><p>I'm leaning toward you NOT bailing him out. But, understand if you wish to do it to help preserve his job. If you do bail him out, in my humble opinion, he should not return to your home. If you were to bail him out, where can he go? You said he has no friends? Perhaps a stint in jail would be a wake up call? (I know this is VERY HARD)</p><p></p><p>It is urgent that you take excellent care of yourself. Get rest. Eat healthy. Take your vitamins. Find joy daily. Do some exercise. Have fun with friends. Think what you like to do AND DO IT. Get a manicure. Go to lunch with a friend. Whatever the case might be...get out and do these things. Good luck with your scan results. Sending good thoughts. Blessings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 765518, member: 4152"] I am soooo very sorry to read this bluebell. [I]"I was diagnosed with breast cancer last July and I am having a full day of scans today to determine if I can stop treatment so I am having a hard time dealing with all of this. My diagnosis really made me more anxious about his future, since mine could be shortened. Please give me some sort of guidance on how to move forward every day and letting go of all of my efforts these past years to get him on track. I need help!" [/I]This comment hit me like a freight train. I just went to the celebration of life memorial service for a friend who died of cancer a few weeks ago. The year prior, she had a LOT of stress in her life. NOT the kind we go through here, but nevertheless...extreme stress. My own mother died of cancer and she too had extreme stress the year before she died of cancer...again, not the same type of stress we experience here...but nevertheless stress. I believe extreme stress especially over long periods of time, can lower the immune system's ability to fight for itself. No doubt you know or suspect this as well. Since there is a lot of cancer in my family AND I have a different chronic illness...plus what I have sadly observed.....I think about this stuff!!! So, it is IMPERATIVE that you do your very best to disengage from the extreme stress. And to detach from the craziness that your son is demonstrating. And the violence....NOPE...no way should that be tolerated. I'm assuming he is over 21? He is OLD ENOUGH to know better. Old enough to know that he is behaving horribly and needs help. I'm leaning toward you NOT bailing him out. But, understand if you wish to do it to help preserve his job. If you do bail him out, in my humble opinion, he should not return to your home. If you were to bail him out, where can he go? You said he has no friends? Perhaps a stint in jail would be a wake up call? (I know this is VERY HARD) It is urgent that you take excellent care of yourself. Get rest. Eat healthy. Take your vitamins. Find joy daily. Do some exercise. Have fun with friends. Think what you like to do AND DO IT. Get a manicure. Go to lunch with a friend. Whatever the case might be...get out and do these things. Good luck with your scan results. Sending good thoughts. Blessings. [/QUOTE]
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