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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 766613" data-attributes="member: 18958">Dear KatyaI am so sorry things have come to this. Let me first suggest that you copy this post and start your own, new thread. Piggybacking on an old thread means that others won't so much see and read your post.&nbsp; This is the reality here:You and your husband seem to rightly see that your son's behavior, cognition and emotions are severely distorted by alcoholism, and illness. ANYTHING he says or does comes from this fog. It can't be, to my way of seeing, anything to base your rational decisions on. Also, your own feelings and your husband's are not reliable in this time of confusion, distress and need.We need to do our best to hang onto reality and go from there. The reality is your husband's impending surgery, the fact that you are only one person, and can only do so much. The other reality is that your son is a grown man with a mate. He is acting impossibly and in his suffering and thrashing about he is hurting you. Those are real factors here, not to be minimized.I hope you put into place serious boundaries and attend to your husband, and let your son's husband attend to him. You may have to set limits with your husband too. To tell him, your care right now is all I can do. And that is that. That is how I see it. Welcome.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 766613, member: 18958"] Dear Katya I am so sorry things have come to this. Let me first suggest that you copy this post and start your own, new thread. Piggybacking on an old thread means that others won't so much see and read your post. This is the reality here: You and your husband seem to rightly see that your son's behavior, cognition and emotions are severely distorted by alcoholism, and illness. ANYTHING he says or does comes from this fog. It can't be, to my way of seeing, anything to base your rational decisions on. Also, your own feelings and your husband's are not reliable in this time of confusion, distress and need. We need to do our best to hang onto reality and go from there. The reality is your husband's impending surgery, the fact that you are only one person, and can only do so much. The other reality is that your son is a grown man with a mate. He is acting impossibly and in his suffering and thrashing about he is hurting you. Those are real factors here, not to be minimized. I hope you put into place serious boundaries and attend to your husband, and let your son's husband attend to him. You may have to set limits with your husband too. To tell him, your care right now is all I can do. And that is that. That is how I see it. Welcome. [/QUOTE]

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