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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 766604" data-attributes="member: 18958">Hi Helpless. So many times I wondered how you were doing. While I'm sad you have to be here again, selfishly I am glad you're back. I will just put in a few of my thoughts about what you've told us.First, I agree with ksm that the cop is at least partially responsible by leaving his gun in the car. What your son did was like a childhood prank, although his judgement, if he did in fact find the gun, and take it, was impaired to say the least.But the thing is, your son as you say was a functioning alcoholic. Alcohol is a &quot;worm at the core&quot; that makes us vulnerable. I guess for all or most of most of us, there is always there a pain or flaw within, I don't know.But the thing is, it illustrates how these are our children's lives and there's no &quot;one and done.&quot;&nbsp; I know living my life, I've always been forced to return to deal with what had been buried, &quot;the worm at the core.&quot; Until your son does the same, he will be vulnerable. And he will bring you down with him, if you let that happen.There is a good side to this. As ksm said, he could choose right now to go into some sort of treatment for alcoholism, even on the internet--there are lots of AA meetings.So, I will end with this: This is your work, helpless. Not just emotional detachment, but acceptance that this is your son's life to live. I have written it so many times, how he is a born leader, lands on his feet, always renews himself, has tremendous gifts, blessings, etc. And in a sense each time he blows it, he resurrects himself. This is a pattern.You can look at it two ways. He keeps undoing himself, yes. But with each disaster he is presented with the need to change himself, to begin anew stronger and better. Let's hope he does the work he needs to do.Meanwhile, I am stunned by his strength and ability to go forward. Most people would be defeated. Love to you, Helpless.ps You don't have to stay gone so long. You can visit us in good times too!</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 766604, member: 18958"] Hi Helpless. So many times I wondered how you were doing. While I'm sad you have to be here again, selfishly I am glad you're back. I will just put in a few of my thoughts about what you've told us. First, I agree with ksm that the cop is at least partially responsible by leaving his gun in the car. What your son did was like a childhood prank, although his judgement, if he did in fact find the gun, and take it, was impaired to say the least. But the thing is, your son as you say was a functioning alcoholic. Alcohol is a "worm at the core" that makes us vulnerable. I guess for all or most of most of us, there is always there a pain or flaw within, I don't know. But the thing is, it illustrates how these are our children's lives and there's no "one and done." I know living my life, I've always been forced to return to deal with what had been buried, "the worm at the core." Until your son does the same, he will be vulnerable. And he will bring you down with him, if you let that happen. There is a good side to this. As ksm said, he could choose right now to go into some sort of treatment for alcoholism, even on the internet--there are lots of AA meetings. So, I will end with this: This is your work, helpless. Not just emotional detachment, but acceptance that this is your son's life to live. I have written it so many times, how he is a born leader, lands on his feet, always renews himself, has tremendous gifts, blessings, etc. And in a sense each time he blows it, he resurrects himself. This is a pattern. You can look at it two ways. He keeps undoing himself, yes. But with each disaster he is presented with the need to change himself, to begin anew stronger and better. Let's hope he does the work he needs to do. Meanwhile, I am stunned by his strength and ability to go forward. Most people would be defeated. Love to you, Helpless. ps You don't have to stay gone so long. You can visit us in good times too! [/QUOTE]

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