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BDP daughter wants to her & I to go family therapy
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 662062" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>This is stellar advice. You will be stronger in every way Lioness, now that you have this site. It makes all the difference for us to have one another, and I am glad you are here with us.</p><p></p><p>SWOT's advice regarding the older daughter was right on, I think. Any smallest change in your behavior will have huge effect. I agree with SWOT too that this sister will turn on her siblings at some point. It is a true thing that how you respond to this borderline daughter now, when you are her target, will help her sibs to know how to respond in healthy ways when they are the ones targeted.</p><p></p><p>It would help me to remember that, given her diagnosis, my child was not entirely responsible for her behaviors. </p><p></p><p>Your daughter is not responding to you in a rational way because she cannot. Much of her behavior is dictated by her illness. It would hurt me intensely too, to have been taunted and teased and singled out for punishment, especially when the thing you are being punished with is the love you feel for your grand.</p><p></p><p>That is a terrible thing your daughter is doing to you, and to your grand and even, to herself.</p><p></p><p>But she's the mom. She is the one in power in this situation. SWOT's suggestion for your behavior through this was exactly right and I am sorry it has to be this way. </p><p></p><p>I think your daughter is heartless and mean.</p><p></p><p>I would have a broken heart, too. But SWOT is right that you have come too far to let this daughter's behavior destroy you. I don't know what to do about the pain of it. Posting here will help. A good therapist will help immensely. </p><p></p><p>I'm really sorry this is happening to you, Lioness.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 662062, member: 17461"] This is stellar advice. You will be stronger in every way Lioness, now that you have this site. It makes all the difference for us to have one another, and I am glad you are here with us. SWOT's advice regarding the older daughter was right on, I think. Any smallest change in your behavior will have huge effect. I agree with SWOT too that this sister will turn on her siblings at some point. It is a true thing that how you respond to this borderline daughter now, when you are her target, will help her sibs to know how to respond in healthy ways when they are the ones targeted. It would help me to remember that, given her diagnosis, my child was not entirely responsible for her behaviors. Your daughter is not responding to you in a rational way because she cannot. Much of her behavior is dictated by her illness. It would hurt me intensely too, to have been taunted and teased and singled out for punishment, especially when the thing you are being punished with is the love you feel for your grand. That is a terrible thing your daughter is doing to you, and to your grand and even, to herself. But she's the mom. She is the one in power in this situation. SWOT's suggestion for your behavior through this was exactly right and I am sorry it has to be this way. I think your daughter is heartless and mean. I would have a broken heart, too. But SWOT is right that you have come too far to let this daughter's behavior destroy you. I don't know what to do about the pain of it. Posting here will help. A good therapist will help immensely. I'm really sorry this is happening to you, Lioness. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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BDP daughter wants to her & I to go family therapy
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