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Beatdown and Heartbroken
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 734070" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Hi Shel,</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you had to find us but glad you did. I'm so sorry to read about the heavy toll your son's bad choices have taken.</p><p></p><p>Having an addicted child and an enabling parent gives a whole new meaning to the term "sandwich generation." No doubt your mother <u>thinks</u> she is helping, and <u>thinks</u> she is doing the right and moral thing...but I wonder if she really understands what you all are dealing with.</p><p></p><p>So many times I wonder if other folks (family members, well-meaning friends and neighbors, etc.) have any clue at all how incredibly strong, how all-encompassing, the grip of addiction holds on our children. When they are in the thick of it and we try to soften their hard landing, most of the time all we do is give them a more comfortable place to continue to strengthen its grip. And given the chance, they will steal from us, lie to us, and hurt us in any way necessary to continue to feed their beast. That's what addicts do.</p><p></p><p>But when we love them as much as we love our children and grandchildren, we oftentimes just can't see that.</p><p></p><p>I hope this latest episode will give your mother pause to consider that she is in well over her head on this one. Your son needs people well-versed in treating addiction. He needs people who can smell his BS and call him on it. As family members, we are much too close to do that.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you are getting so much support, Shel. Keep posting. It helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 734070, member: 17720"] Hi Shel, I'm sorry you had to find us but glad you did. I'm so sorry to read about the heavy toll your son's bad choices have taken. Having an addicted child and an enabling parent gives a whole new meaning to the term "sandwich generation." No doubt your mother [U]thinks[/U] she is helping, and [U]thinks[/U] she is doing the right and moral thing...but I wonder if she really understands what you all are dealing with. So many times I wonder if other folks (family members, well-meaning friends and neighbors, etc.) have any clue at all how incredibly strong, how all-encompassing, the grip of addiction holds on our children. When they are in the thick of it and we try to soften their hard landing, most of the time all we do is give them a more comfortable place to continue to strengthen its grip. And given the chance, they will steal from us, lie to us, and hurt us in any way necessary to continue to feed their beast. That's what addicts do. But when we love them as much as we love our children and grandchildren, we oftentimes just can't see that. I hope this latest episode will give your mother pause to consider that she is in well over her head on this one. Your son needs people well-versed in treating addiction. He needs people who can smell his BS and call him on it. As family members, we are much too close to do that. I'm glad you are getting so much support, Shel. Keep posting. It helps. [/QUOTE]
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