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Been here before. Looking for some advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 740009" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>SWOT, the older I get, the more I've come to believe that almost everyone is diagnosable with something at some point in their lives. I think there are as many--or more--or us "weirdos" as there are so-called normal people. And of course with spectrum disorders (or differences, as I prefer to think of them), they are going to bleed out at the edges into something that isn't quite diagnosable but also isn't entirely mainstream. Which is perfectly fine. Rich tapestry of life. </p><p></p><p>What I think about a lot of how our modern lives push people like me, and your son, and perhaps you and Drew's daughter, outside of feeling "normal" in ways that simpler, quieter, less complex times may not have. Is an Aspie girl still an Aspie girl on a quiet farm in the 1500s, or is she just a quieter than average person going about her structured daily chores with few people to interact with and feeling perfectly content? Would a touch of autism or the hyperfocus ability of ADD give a boy an edge in a hunter-gatherer society in prehistoric times? "Normal" is defined by what is valuable and beneficial in a specific time, place and culture, and that changes. Our culture is loud, fast, hyperconnected and complex. Being able to interact socially with large numbers of people and process lots of competing sensory stimuli is considered valuable and therefore normal in our world. That wasn't always true. I often wonder how many of our "diagnosable" disorders are just part of the normal range of human experience that would have fit in better in other times and places. And how much of our modern increase in problems like depression and anxiety are driven by a mismatch between culture and people, rather than anything instrinsically wrong with the people themselves. We don't do a very good job of finding places in society for people who don't fit the current definition of normal. </p><p></p><p>But SWOT is right - with self-acceptance of our differences comes peace. Drew, that's where I hope your daughter comes to, much sooner than I did - acceptance of her differences, love for herself as she is, and understanding of what she wants out of her life. It's only when we stop trying to "be normal" and accept ourselves for who we are that we can start to figure out where we fit in the world and take the right steps to get ourselves there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 740009, member: 23349"] SWOT, the older I get, the more I've come to believe that almost everyone is diagnosable with something at some point in their lives. I think there are as many--or more--or us "weirdos" as there are so-called normal people. And of course with spectrum disorders (or differences, as I prefer to think of them), they are going to bleed out at the edges into something that isn't quite diagnosable but also isn't entirely mainstream. Which is perfectly fine. Rich tapestry of life. What I think about a lot of how our modern lives push people like me, and your son, and perhaps you and Drew's daughter, outside of feeling "normal" in ways that simpler, quieter, less complex times may not have. Is an Aspie girl still an Aspie girl on a quiet farm in the 1500s, or is she just a quieter than average person going about her structured daily chores with few people to interact with and feeling perfectly content? Would a touch of autism or the hyperfocus ability of ADD give a boy an edge in a hunter-gatherer society in prehistoric times? "Normal" is defined by what is valuable and beneficial in a specific time, place and culture, and that changes. Our culture is loud, fast, hyperconnected and complex. Being able to interact socially with large numbers of people and process lots of competing sensory stimuli is considered valuable and therefore normal in our world. That wasn't always true. I often wonder how many of our "diagnosable" disorders are just part of the normal range of human experience that would have fit in better in other times and places. And how much of our modern increase in problems like depression and anxiety are driven by a mismatch between culture and people, rather than anything instrinsically wrong with the people themselves. We don't do a very good job of finding places in society for people who don't fit the current definition of normal. But SWOT is right - with self-acceptance of our differences comes peace. Drew, that's where I hope your daughter comes to, much sooner than I did - acceptance of her differences, love for herself as she is, and understanding of what she wants out of her life. It's only when we stop trying to "be normal" and accept ourselves for who we are that we can start to figure out where we fit in the world and take the right steps to get ourselves there. [/QUOTE]
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