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Being who we are, even if FOO is different and doesn't like it
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 672926" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am going to switch directions a bit but I think this comment best fits on this thread.</p><p></p><p>My hair is a mess. I have not cut it in 4 years at least. Since before the last time I went to Brasil. It was long then. Now it is below waist length. I have not colored it in that time. Even before that time, I hardly did so except for the time I lived in South America. </p><p></p><p>I loved it colored. But I am now 10 years older. I question if I can still do so, gracefully.</p><p></p><p>My present look is not a look I have chosen or cultivated. I think of it as my Howard Hughes period. If you do not remember, his hair (and fingernails) became very long, when he had retreated to his Las Vegas penthouse in the last years of his life, never leaving and apparently paranoid.</p><p></p><p>That I dwell on my hair is not out of an overweening vanity or sense of self-importance. First, there is the issue of functionality and maintenance. My hair is very thick and very fine. So it tangles easily. If I do not brush or comb it every day (which takes a half an hour) it tangles and mats. Even after sleeping, and in a pony tail, it will mat and tangle. In just one night. I tend to let it go if I can. Thus my current mess.</p><p></p><p>As you know I have not been leaving the house much, and choose not to look in the mirror. So, after a week of almost not leaving the house, my hair is a rat's nest.</p><p></p><p>The idea of cutting it came up last night. M and his sister both suggested she cut my hair so it is more manageable. </p><p></p><p>So enter, Miuccia Prada of Prada fame. I identify a lot with her. And I admire her. She is highly educated and artistic. She disdains fashion but has a highly personal style. </p><p></p><p>The mistake many older women make is this, she has said: <em>As they age they seek to tame themselves. Instead they should become more wild. </em>While I do not think she had in mind, my rastafarian locks, I want to follow her lead.</p><p></p><p>So, I looked at her hair. She is about my age. What does she do with her hair? She dyes it a honey colored blonde. It seems as she has aged the last few years it has gotten even lighter. Without highlights. It is actually a bit jarring. It is almost yellow.</p><p></p><p>If I had decided to color I was likely going to go as does Barbra Streisand, which is honey blonde, with champagne beige highlights. Barbra, who is older than Miuccia and I, has gone lighter as she has aged, as Miuccia did.</p><p></p><p>So, where am I going with this: I am talking about identity and what it means to choose an identity upon entering old age. </p><p></p><p>I think in the course of this post I have decided to cut my hair some. Why make life so hard? My hair, not well maintained over these past few years is nothing to cherish. It is time to start over. So done deal. I will let M's sister cut it. No issue there. As I break out more and more of my cocoon, I will go to a classy stylist in a big city.</p><p></p><p>But coloring, that is another question. Appearance is very important to me. I always ceded this to my mother. She needed to be the beautiful one. </p><p></p><p>I was an attractive girl and woman. I did not own it. <em>I want to now</em>.</p><p></p><p>My sister I think is in a similar place. Not as attractive as my mother or I, she seems, too to have a strong desire for beauty, as she ages. She too was not able to claim her attractiveness as a younger woman. More and more, she is. Especially with respect to voluptuousness, bordering on the inappropriate. </p><p></p><p>She very adamantly colors her hair. I would say it does not match with her age. That is what I fear. Young hair. Old face. Not a look I want. </p><p></p><p>Remember she told me the last time she saw me: your hair is aging. It was not colored in a pony tail. </p><p></p><p>The reality is: I am aging. My hair is my hair.</p><p></p><p>My attitude has been to embrace my grey these last years. Accept it. </p><p></p><p>But I want to choose. </p><p></p><p>Like Miuccia Prada. I want to choose. I do not want to <em>accept</em> anything. I want to look as beautiful as I can. Not young. Not old. Just as beautiful as I can be. And as me as I can be. </p><p></p><p>I want to choose "wild" not tame. </p><p></p><p>I am now understanding that I want to color my hair. </p><p></p><p>I think I will choose a warm light honey blonde, with champagne highlights, Like Barbra. </p><p></p><p>And I will not worry about it. I will consider my hair a renewable resource. Like bamboo. If I do not like it, I will dye it until I find a color I like. Or I will grow it out again. No problem.</p><p></p><p>That is what "wild" means to me. It means trying and experimenting and moving through. Not feeling stuck or bound to accept anything. It means flexibility. Not role. Not the role of an old person.</p><p></p><p>I think that is why Miuccia Prada has slightly off-putting yellowish hair. </p><p></p><p>I will go for my own version. But first I will cut my hair, to simplify my life. </p><p></p><p>Thank you ladies. You've helped me immeasurably.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 672926, member: 18958"] I am going to switch directions a bit but I think this comment best fits on this thread. My hair is a mess. I have not cut it in 4 years at least. Since before the last time I went to Brasil. It was long then. Now it is below waist length. I have not colored it in that time. Even before that time, I hardly did so except for the time I lived in South America. I loved it colored. But I am now 10 years older. I question if I can still do so, gracefully. My present look is not a look I have chosen or cultivated. I think of it as my Howard Hughes period. If you do not remember, his hair (and fingernails) became very long, when he had retreated to his Las Vegas penthouse in the last years of his life, never leaving and apparently paranoid. That I dwell on my hair is not out of an overweening vanity or sense of self-importance. First, there is the issue of functionality and maintenance. My hair is very thick and very fine. So it tangles easily. If I do not brush or comb it every day (which takes a half an hour) it tangles and mats. Even after sleeping, and in a pony tail, it will mat and tangle. In just one night. I tend to let it go if I can. Thus my current mess. As you know I have not been leaving the house much, and choose not to look in the mirror. So, after a week of almost not leaving the house, my hair is a rat's nest. The idea of cutting it came up last night. M and his sister both suggested she cut my hair so it is more manageable. So enter, Miuccia Prada of Prada fame. I identify a lot with her. And I admire her. She is highly educated and artistic. She disdains fashion but has a highly personal style. The mistake many older women make is this, she has said: [I]As they age they seek to tame themselves. Instead they should become more wild. [/I]While I do not think she had in mind, my rastafarian locks, I want to follow her lead. So, I looked at her hair. She is about my age. What does she do with her hair? She dyes it a honey colored blonde. It seems as she has aged the last few years it has gotten even lighter. Without highlights. It is actually a bit jarring. It is almost yellow. If I had decided to color I was likely going to go as does Barbra Streisand, which is honey blonde, with champagne beige highlights. Barbra, who is older than Miuccia and I, has gone lighter as she has aged, as Miuccia did. So, where am I going with this: I am talking about identity and what it means to choose an identity upon entering old age. I think in the course of this post I have decided to cut my hair some. Why make life so hard? My hair, not well maintained over these past few years is nothing to cherish. It is time to start over. So done deal. I will let M's sister cut it. No issue there. As I break out more and more of my cocoon, I will go to a classy stylist in a big city. But coloring, that is another question. Appearance is very important to me. I always ceded this to my mother. She needed to be the beautiful one. I was an attractive girl and woman. I did not own it. [I]I want to now[/I]. My sister I think is in a similar place. Not as attractive as my mother or I, she seems, too to have a strong desire for beauty, as she ages. She too was not able to claim her attractiveness as a younger woman. More and more, she is. Especially with respect to voluptuousness, bordering on the inappropriate. She very adamantly colors her hair. I would say it does not match with her age. That is what I fear. Young hair. Old face. Not a look I want. Remember she told me the last time she saw me: your hair is aging. It was not colored in a pony tail. The reality is: I am aging. My hair is my hair. My attitude has been to embrace my grey these last years. Accept it. But I want to choose. Like Miuccia Prada. I want to choose. I do not want to [I]accept[/I] anything. I want to look as beautiful as I can. Not young. Not old. Just as beautiful as I can be. And as me as I can be. I want to choose "wild" not tame. I am now understanding that I want to color my hair. I think I will choose a warm light honey blonde, with champagne highlights, Like Barbra. And I will not worry about it. I will consider my hair a renewable resource. Like bamboo. If I do not like it, I will dye it until I find a color I like. Or I will grow it out again. No problem. That is what "wild" means to me. It means trying and experimenting and moving through. Not feeling stuck or bound to accept anything. It means flexibility. Not role. Not the role of an old person. I think that is why Miuccia Prada has slightly off-putting yellowish hair. I will go for my own version. But first I will cut my hair, to simplify my life. Thank you ladies. You've helped me immeasurably. COPA [/QUOTE]
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