Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Beyond Worried
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 704599" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>He's throwing a toddler tantrum to get you to let him on your couch. Sounds like he is expecting you to make him feel better because his wife left him, most probably because he wouldn't support her or he took drugs or something else not great.</p><p></p><p>He has a motorcycle too with no job. Not working has been profitable for him. Did someone else buy it for him? Does he have a car?</p><p></p><p>He REALLY needs to grow up. If you can, you may want to go to an Al Anon group. I know for sure that you give your son all these things out of guilt and love, but he isn't learning to sustain himself and talks to you like he is still a child who can't take care of himself.</p><p></p><p> Treating him as if he can't do anything for himself feeds into his beliefs both that you owe him because you're "mommy" and that he IS helpless unless you take care of him.</p><p></p><p>He is heading quickly toward 30. Perhaps you need to consider letting go of his problems and let him find his life path himself. You have a life too that is not his life and you deserve to enjoy your life even if your son won't do what he needs to do to grow up and enjoy his. You can still be happy even if he struggles.</p><p></p><p>That's where Al Anon is awesome in my opinion. There is support and wisdom there. Private therapy for yourself to help you cope is also often very good. Detaching with love is a good thing for both of you also in my opinion. You are too involved in his life. He may be emotionally twelve, but in everyone's eyes he is a man. He has to catch up to his age. He won't if you lovingly buy him all he needs. It's okay for him to have it tough. The hard stuff teaches us the best lessons <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 704599, member: 1550"] He's throwing a toddler tantrum to get you to let him on your couch. Sounds like he is expecting you to make him feel better because his wife left him, most probably because he wouldn't support her or he took drugs or something else not great. He has a motorcycle too with no job. Not working has been profitable for him. Did someone else buy it for him? Does he have a car? He REALLY needs to grow up. If you can, you may want to go to an Al Anon group. I know for sure that you give your son all these things out of guilt and love, but he isn't learning to sustain himself and talks to you like he is still a child who can't take care of himself. Treating him as if he can't do anything for himself feeds into his beliefs both that you owe him because you're "mommy" and that he IS helpless unless you take care of him. He is heading quickly toward 30. Perhaps you need to consider letting go of his problems and let him find his life path himself. You have a life too that is not his life and you deserve to enjoy your life even if your son won't do what he needs to do to grow up and enjoy his. You can still be happy even if he struggles. That's where Al Anon is awesome in my opinion. There is support and wisdom there. Private therapy for yourself to help you cope is also often very good. Detaching with love is a good thing for both of you also in my opinion. You are too involved in his life. He may be emotionally twelve, but in everyone's eyes he is a man. He has to catch up to his age. He won't if you lovingly buy him all he needs. It's okay for him to have it tough. The hard stuff teaches us the best lessons :) Hugs for your hurting heart. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Beyond Worried
Top