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Bi Polar in an 8 year old?
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<blockquote data-quote="HMBgal" data-source="post: 655001" data-attributes="member: 13260"><p>We only want Difficult Child to get better, get his anxiety lowered, and be a well-rounded and functioning human being. We don't want the kids not to see their father. He's their father and even though things aren't right with him or the step mother, kids always love and feel loyalty to their parents. None of us wants ugliness and squaring off in court because no one really "wins." And we don't ask the kids "who do you want to live with?" My parents did that to me and it's awful. But the kids have become increasingly vocal about things that are happening. We try to maintain neutral and cheerful comments. "Oh, you say she was mean to you? Did you break a rule? Did you not do what you were asked?", etc. So we aren't trying to polarize. That doesn't help anyone. And when it's time for them to go back to that house for their father's custody time, they get so quiet and tense. Even little granddaughter says "We only have four days with Mom. I want a hundred days with Mom. Why can't I stay with Mom?" And Difficult Child gets so sad and anxious looking. It's heartbreaking. But we try to cheer them up with "You'll get to see the dog, the baby," etc. </p><p></p><p>The doctor is adamant about the kids getting out of the household. We haven't seen the CPS report and since it's not like the kids are in real imminent danger of being taken out of state, or really seriously hurt, I'm sure it's not going to be a quick thing. And I'm just a lowly special education teacher, and my husband is retired, so lawyering up will be very hard. We're already paying for so much for the kids--all the extra things like vacations, lessons, and on and on. </p><p></p><p>Having them with us has been such a relief, though, I must say. We've all been so worried for so long about what we've seen developing, or suspected of developing, and now evidence that what we suspected has happened, that even though there's lots ahead of us in parenting this little boy (talk about needing a village!), we know we're up for it if we work together and learn. When the other parent's rage issues (and he has that in spades--always has, even as a kid), and the stress of 3 other children not his own that includes and a 17 year old teenage girl with lots of problems, a controlling and demanding new wife, then their new baby, a stressful job--gah. I can't even imagine. I feel for everybody.</p><p></p><p>Thank you all for taking the time to share your thoughts, observations, experiences, and thoughts. It helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HMBgal, post: 655001, member: 13260"] We only want Difficult Child to get better, get his anxiety lowered, and be a well-rounded and functioning human being. We don't want the kids not to see their father. He's their father and even though things aren't right with him or the step mother, kids always love and feel loyalty to their parents. None of us wants ugliness and squaring off in court because no one really "wins." And we don't ask the kids "who do you want to live with?" My parents did that to me and it's awful. But the kids have become increasingly vocal about things that are happening. We try to maintain neutral and cheerful comments. "Oh, you say she was mean to you? Did you break a rule? Did you not do what you were asked?", etc. So we aren't trying to polarize. That doesn't help anyone. And when it's time for them to go back to that house for their father's custody time, they get so quiet and tense. Even little granddaughter says "We only have four days with Mom. I want a hundred days with Mom. Why can't I stay with Mom?" And Difficult Child gets so sad and anxious looking. It's heartbreaking. But we try to cheer them up with "You'll get to see the dog, the baby," etc. The doctor is adamant about the kids getting out of the household. We haven't seen the CPS report and since it's not like the kids are in real imminent danger of being taken out of state, or really seriously hurt, I'm sure it's not going to be a quick thing. And I'm just a lowly special education teacher, and my husband is retired, so lawyering up will be very hard. We're already paying for so much for the kids--all the extra things like vacations, lessons, and on and on. Having them with us has been such a relief, though, I must say. We've all been so worried for so long about what we've seen developing, or suspected of developing, and now evidence that what we suspected has happened, that even though there's lots ahead of us in parenting this little boy (talk about needing a village!), we know we're up for it if we work together and learn. When the other parent's rage issues (and he has that in spades--always has, even as a kid), and the stress of 3 other children not his own that includes and a 17 year old teenage girl with lots of problems, a controlling and demanding new wife, then their new baby, a stressful job--gah. I can't even imagine. I feel for everybody. Thank you all for taking the time to share your thoughts, observations, experiences, and thoughts. It helps. [/QUOTE]
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