Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Bipolar adult son, is wanting to move back in.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 741022" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>I think I would also be inclined to offer supports to get him on his feet elsewhere, if he seems willing to work towards it, rather than offering up the possibility of him coming home. The risk seems too great with this history of violence and psychosis and younger children in the house. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is something I identify with very much in my own situation. I do not want my difficult children in my house. Why would I? It is calm and peaceful in my house right now. Even if they were on their best behavior, it would be tense and awkward with one or both of them here. They would bring messes and late night noise and bad attitudes. They would want to do adult things like stay out late or have friends over. And I want to go to bed by ten in my clean quiet house and not have to worry about anyone else’s drama or potential drama anymore. Worst case scenario is potentially catastrophic. </p><p></p><p>I do feel guilty not wanting them back here. But since they are adults, any time back here would only be a temporary reprieve anyway. And would probably end badly, with me kicking them back out again, possibly with police intervention. It seems to make more sense (for mine at least) to skip all that and proceed straight towards trying to achieve independence outside my home sanctuary. </p><p></p><p>I don’t know how old your younger children are, but I would definitely put their safety and stability first. My home during my marriage was constant conflict and frequent violence or threats of violence. I wasn’t able to get out until my youngest was going into her sophomore year in high school. And then I watched her bloom. I didn’t realize until I had her out of it just how much the constant tension affected her. She had friends over for the first time in years - before she was afraid to because you never knew what kind of day it was going to be at home. She did her homework sprawled on the living room floor instead of hiding in her room. She practiced her instrument as long as she wanted and got really good. Little things that broke my heart, because she never felt comfortable enough in her own home to do them before. If your daughters feel safe and comfortable in their home right now, I would not do anything to risk that, even for my adult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 741022, member: 23349"] I think I would also be inclined to offer supports to get him on his feet elsewhere, if he seems willing to work towards it, rather than offering up the possibility of him coming home. The risk seems too great with this history of violence and psychosis and younger children in the house. This is something I identify with very much in my own situation. I do not want my difficult children in my house. Why would I? It is calm and peaceful in my house right now. Even if they were on their best behavior, it would be tense and awkward with one or both of them here. They would bring messes and late night noise and bad attitudes. They would want to do adult things like stay out late or have friends over. And I want to go to bed by ten in my clean quiet house and not have to worry about anyone else’s drama or potential drama anymore. Worst case scenario is potentially catastrophic. I do feel guilty not wanting them back here. But since they are adults, any time back here would only be a temporary reprieve anyway. And would probably end badly, with me kicking them back out again, possibly with police intervention. It seems to make more sense (for mine at least) to skip all that and proceed straight towards trying to achieve independence outside my home sanctuary. I don’t know how old your younger children are, but I would definitely put their safety and stability first. My home during my marriage was constant conflict and frequent violence or threats of violence. I wasn’t able to get out until my youngest was going into her sophomore year in high school. And then I watched her bloom. I didn’t realize until I had her out of it just how much the constant tension affected her. She had friends over for the first time in years - before she was afraid to because you never knew what kind of day it was going to be at home. She did her homework sprawled on the living room floor instead of hiding in her room. She practiced her instrument as long as she wanted and got really good. Little things that broke my heart, because she never felt comfortable enough in her own home to do them before. If your daughters feel safe and comfortable in their home right now, I would not do anything to risk that, even for my adult child. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Bipolar adult son, is wanting to move back in.
Top