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Parent Emeritus
Bipolar adult son, is wanting to move back in.
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<blockquote data-quote="Smithmom" data-source="post: 741024" data-attributes="member: 23371"><p>Just a point of clarification here. Your post indicates that all of the threats and violence were 3 years ago. Your only contact with him since that time started 2 weeks ago and there has been no threats or violence in the last 2 weeks Your concern is based on what happened 3 years ago and the fact that he is not calling you Dad. Further you indicate that he is depressed. </p><p></p><p>I am not suggesting that you open your door. Nor that he should have any contact with anyone but you. I have written in other posts about depression being the absence of hope. I see nothing wrong with telling him that you love him and hope to some day have a better relationship with him. Trust is earned. If he takes the steps you outline you will learn to trust him. Plus indicate that you are willing to work on your relationship and trust via family therapy. I did not suggest a timeline as given his lack of mood stabilizer he is unlikely to be stable in the near term. </p><p></p><p>I disagree with the others in that to me 3 years without threats has to count for something. Emotionally you are having flashbacks. Certainly normal. But you can eventually overcome those. You do love him, that's clear from your post. Protect yourself and family certainly. But to me permanently closing the door after 3 years of silence is unkind and will contribute to his depression.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Smithmom, post: 741024, member: 23371"] Just a point of clarification here. Your post indicates that all of the threats and violence were 3 years ago. Your only contact with him since that time started 2 weeks ago and there has been no threats or violence in the last 2 weeks Your concern is based on what happened 3 years ago and the fact that he is not calling you Dad. Further you indicate that he is depressed. I am not suggesting that you open your door. Nor that he should have any contact with anyone but you. I have written in other posts about depression being the absence of hope. I see nothing wrong with telling him that you love him and hope to some day have a better relationship with him. Trust is earned. If he takes the steps you outline you will learn to trust him. Plus indicate that you are willing to work on your relationship and trust via family therapy. I did not suggest a timeline as given his lack of mood stabilizer he is unlikely to be stable in the near term. I disagree with the others in that to me 3 years without threats has to count for something. Emotionally you are having flashbacks. Certainly normal. But you can eventually overcome those. You do love him, that's clear from your post. Protect yourself and family certainly. But to me permanently closing the door after 3 years of silence is unkind and will contribute to his depression. [/QUOTE]
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Parent Emeritus
Bipolar adult son, is wanting to move back in.
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