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BiPolar (BP)/ADHD Daughter pregnant again and soon homeless At 18
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 416202" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Welcome to the family. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>It stinks to high hades when there are innocent grandchildren involved. I speak from many many years of experience in that dept. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sigh.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sigh:" title="sigh :sigh:" data-shortname=":sigh:" /></p><p></p><p>Your mother has a very good point about the worry that if you take your grandchild will difficult child then develop into a baby factory, with you left holding the bag as far as being the one who is responsible for them. It's something I've though long and hard about for a very long time. I've went back and forth on it so much I should have a severe case of whiplash. Why? Because the children involved <strong>are innocent</strong> and<strong> we do love them so much</strong> that it is <strong>terribly painful</strong> to know they're living the lives they're living.</p><p></p><p>I have 31 yr old Katie (difficult child). We've been sort of doing this with her for more than a decade.....the whole jobless, homeless, neglected children....abuse thing. I did try to have them removed from her custody when the two oldest grands were babies. Then she skipped state and I didn't hear from her for 6 plus yrs. Now they're back and the story is the same only add a child. I just am truly grateful after the last one she had her tubes tied. We are currently waiting to see if she's feeding us a pack of lies or if she's got the kids once again on the street. If the latter is the case cps will be called in, children will be removed soon as they're found. But this time I won't offer to take them unless my mouth overruns my head at the last second. I love them but after living that lifestyle all their lives those kids have got some serious issues on top of reg gfgdom which is fairly bad. I'm not young anymore.....and I have my own health issues to deal with as well. Breaks my heart to think of them entering the system, but at this point pretty much anything is better than the life they have with their "parents". (2 overgrown children without a clue)</p><p></p><p>Then I have youngest daughter Nichole who had Aubrey at 16........and who found in her daughter the motivation to take her medications, do her treatment plan, change her behavior, and grow up and find stability. Exact opposite of her eldest sister. Of course she's still a difficult child.....she still has some growing and maturing to do but she's got her feet firmly set on the right path. If she stumbles and falls, she tries to learn from it and move forward. It wasn't a bed of roses getting there but at least she made the effort. And as her mom I know the next stumble could come at any time......that risk is always there. It's the <strong>trying</strong> that makes the difference.</p><p></p><p>Section 8 housing there is usually a waiting list depending on where you live. We have waiting lists but they're usually not long as we're fairly rural and the turn over rate is high. Katie and M have made a career living off their kids via welfare and govt programs ect as well as the charity of others. Now that they've used up most of that and are at an age when people look at them like Excuse me? You should Know what You need to Do. And people don't want to help.......now it's bad, really bad. </p><p></p><p>But bottom line, all you can do is what you can do and what you can live with. The biggest problem with taking on the grandchild is that you continue to have to deal with the difficult child parents. Which is also one of the reasons husband and I are not very willing to take in the grands at this stage.</p><p></p><p>((((hugs)))) I'm glad you found us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 416202, member: 84"] Welcome to the family. :happy: It stinks to high hades when there are innocent grandchildren involved. I speak from many many years of experience in that dept. :sigh: Your mother has a very good point about the worry that if you take your grandchild will difficult child then develop into a baby factory, with you left holding the bag as far as being the one who is responsible for them. It's something I've though long and hard about for a very long time. I've went back and forth on it so much I should have a severe case of whiplash. Why? Because the children involved [B]are innocent[/B] and[B] we do love them so much[/B] that it is [B]terribly painful[/B] to know they're living the lives they're living. I have 31 yr old Katie (difficult child). We've been sort of doing this with her for more than a decade.....the whole jobless, homeless, neglected children....abuse thing. I did try to have them removed from her custody when the two oldest grands were babies. Then she skipped state and I didn't hear from her for 6 plus yrs. Now they're back and the story is the same only add a child. I just am truly grateful after the last one she had her tubes tied. We are currently waiting to see if she's feeding us a pack of lies or if she's got the kids once again on the street. If the latter is the case cps will be called in, children will be removed soon as they're found. But this time I won't offer to take them unless my mouth overruns my head at the last second. I love them but after living that lifestyle all their lives those kids have got some serious issues on top of reg gfgdom which is fairly bad. I'm not young anymore.....and I have my own health issues to deal with as well. Breaks my heart to think of them entering the system, but at this point pretty much anything is better than the life they have with their "parents". (2 overgrown children without a clue) Then I have youngest daughter Nichole who had Aubrey at 16........and who found in her daughter the motivation to take her medications, do her treatment plan, change her behavior, and grow up and find stability. Exact opposite of her eldest sister. Of course she's still a difficult child.....she still has some growing and maturing to do but she's got her feet firmly set on the right path. If she stumbles and falls, she tries to learn from it and move forward. It wasn't a bed of roses getting there but at least she made the effort. And as her mom I know the next stumble could come at any time......that risk is always there. It's the [B]trying[/B] that makes the difference. Section 8 housing there is usually a waiting list depending on where you live. We have waiting lists but they're usually not long as we're fairly rural and the turn over rate is high. Katie and M have made a career living off their kids via welfare and govt programs ect as well as the charity of others. Now that they've used up most of that and are at an age when people look at them like Excuse me? You should Know what You need to Do. And people don't want to help.......now it's bad, really bad. But bottom line, all you can do is what you can do and what you can live with. The biggest problem with taking on the grandchild is that you continue to have to deal with the difficult child parents. Which is also one of the reasons husband and I are not very willing to take in the grands at this stage. ((((hugs)))) I'm glad you found us. [/QUOTE]
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BiPolar (BP)/ADHD Daughter pregnant again and soon homeless At 18
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