I understand, Stands. I was feeling the same way about my Oldest last night, and some things she's into right now. The sadness is part of the grieving process for who our children used to be. Dont beat yourself up.. honestly I believe that NOTHING you could have done would have helped here. You ought to know by now, after years of al-anon, that it's beyond our control, we are helpless when it comes to another's addiction.
Repeat that serenity prayer to yourself over and over. Take care of YOU, now, and focus on your other children. Your difficult child is in a safe(r) place.
