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Boy/girl sleepovers
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 267144" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>I have had easy child's friends that are an equal mixture of girls and boys, stay the night. They rent movies, make popcorn and generally crash where they sat in the family room. I trust easy child and I trust in easy child's healthy fear of my anger. </p><p>I know there is no alcohol, no drugs, nothing illegal. I am 99% sure that there was no sex. They weren't destructive and knew that they were welcome to make themselves at home if they were respectful. </p><p>They were safe, I was in attendance and the kids were free to have a good time in a safe environment. </p><p>easy child has a female roommate at present. Doesn't bother me in the least. If anything it's good for easy child in that she gets after him to do his fair share of the housework. They have separate rooms and work different shifts. This is where I draw the line at invading easy child's privacy. He chose to have an independent life and he is paying his way. </p><p></p><p>difficult child had a girlfriend when he went away to school. They stayed "together" at school. When she came down to our home and traveled to Colo. to ski, I spoke to her mom. Mom felt that there wasn't a problem since they virtually lived together at school. So we chose to let them continue to spend all their time together. For difficult child it was a huge leap into the real world. It was neither a positive nor negative experience for us. </p><p></p><p>I'[m of the belief sex happens and teens are hormonally in turbo boost. We teach responsibility, safe sex and consequences. If they are living at home they have to abide by the house rules but no one is going to stop the drive of nature. It will happen in the car, in the woods, in school or anywhere else that two teens can be alone. Hopefully we can teach and be a role model for responsible adulthood and we keep our fingers crossed. </p><p></p><p>Sue, I don't think you are a dinosaur and I dare say I thought the same when my difficult child was at the 15, 16 yr range. Eventually it became less of a priority than other things. </p><p></p><p>It wasn't a battle I have ever seen a parent win by using authoritarian rule. </p><p></p><p>The teen will have either gotten the reason for the appropriate behavior or they won't have gotten it long before they are 16.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 267144, member: 3"] I have had easy child's friends that are an equal mixture of girls and boys, stay the night. They rent movies, make popcorn and generally crash where they sat in the family room. I trust easy child and I trust in easy child's healthy fear of my anger. I know there is no alcohol, no drugs, nothing illegal. I am 99% sure that there was no sex. They weren't destructive and knew that they were welcome to make themselves at home if they were respectful. They were safe, I was in attendance and the kids were free to have a good time in a safe environment. easy child has a female roommate at present. Doesn't bother me in the least. If anything it's good for easy child in that she gets after him to do his fair share of the housework. They have separate rooms and work different shifts. This is where I draw the line at invading easy child's privacy. He chose to have an independent life and he is paying his way. difficult child had a girlfriend when he went away to school. They stayed "together" at school. When she came down to our home and traveled to Colo. to ski, I spoke to her mom. Mom felt that there wasn't a problem since they virtually lived together at school. So we chose to let them continue to spend all their time together. For difficult child it was a huge leap into the real world. It was neither a positive nor negative experience for us. I'[m of the belief sex happens and teens are hormonally in turbo boost. We teach responsibility, safe sex and consequences. If they are living at home they have to abide by the house rules but no one is going to stop the drive of nature. It will happen in the car, in the woods, in school or anywhere else that two teens can be alone. Hopefully we can teach and be a role model for responsible adulthood and we keep our fingers crossed. Sue, I don't think you are a dinosaur and I dare say I thought the same when my difficult child was at the 15, 16 yr range. Eventually it became less of a priority than other things. It wasn't a battle I have ever seen a parent win by using authoritarian rule. The teen will have either gotten the reason for the appropriate behavior or they won't have gotten it long before they are 16. [/QUOTE]
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