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Breaking Heart
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 722836" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I may add that a thieving con artist of 42 is not a difficult child. He is a full grown criminal. And middle aged. And very possibly never going to change.</p><p></p><p>The older they stay criminals and non workers the smarter they get about being that way...it is their identity. Many get very cozy living in a Tent City with "friends", not working, begging, stealing, drugging, not conforming. Many do this lifestyle their entire lives. What we find intolerable is just life to them.</p><p></p><p>I always urge parents to nip it in the bud if at all possible...in the teens or early twenties. At least then they have not been this way for decades. But your son has been at this for most of his life. He may have continued this even had you put your foot down early. Some people do not want to work or follow normal societal rules and that is not on us.</p><p></p><p>But I think its time to let middle age son do his thing, whatever it is, with no help from you.</p><p></p><p>A wayward 21 year old has a chance. A wayward 42 year old...the chances are greater that he will stay as he is. Dont make his horrible choices more tolerable for him. If things are bad for him....you never know. Miracles do happen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 722836, member: 1550"] I may add that a thieving con artist of 42 is not a difficult child. He is a full grown criminal. And middle aged. And very possibly never going to change. The older they stay criminals and non workers the smarter they get about being that way...it is their identity. Many get very cozy living in a Tent City with "friends", not working, begging, stealing, drugging, not conforming. Many do this lifestyle their entire lives. What we find intolerable is just life to them. I always urge parents to nip it in the bud if at all possible...in the teens or early twenties. At least then they have not been this way for decades. But your son has been at this for most of his life. He may have continued this even had you put your foot down early. Some people do not want to work or follow normal societal rules and that is not on us. But I think its time to let middle age son do his thing, whatever it is, with no help from you. A wayward 21 year old has a chance. A wayward 42 year old...the chances are greater that he will stay as he is. Dont make his horrible choices more tolerable for him. If things are bad for him....you never know. Miracles do happen. [/QUOTE]
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