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Family of Origin
Brother (in spirit) has shut me out
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 744249" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Gosh bbu. The last thing I wanted was for you to take to heart that what I wrote about me, applied to your friendship. I was trying.to find a part of my own experience that related to an overwhelming "no" regarding a lifelong and close relationship.</p><p></p><p>What I described was a feeling that came to be manifest and when it did, I could not walk it back. I could have told her: you were always mean to me and treated me badly. I won't tolerate it anymore.. Would that have changed things? I don't know.</p><p></p><p>What you are saying I think is you want to be a whole person, not in pieces. And maybe this man does not want to deal with you whole. And maybe that is your intuition and hesitancy. And maybe you feel no safety in the same way I did with my friend.</p><p></p><p>Thank you bbu. </p><p></p><p>We get to make these kinds of decisions about our life. And we get to do so with our own needs central. We can feel empathy and compassion for somebody else. But first we need to feel it for ourselves. this is what you did. I see that. Thank you for modeling that for me.</p><p></p><p>40, 50, 60 years ago I did not have the experience or strength or support to take a stand for myself. I do now. Thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 744249, member: 18958"] Gosh bbu. The last thing I wanted was for you to take to heart that what I wrote about me, applied to your friendship. I was trying.to find a part of my own experience that related to an overwhelming "no" regarding a lifelong and close relationship. What I described was a feeling that came to be manifest and when it did, I could not walk it back. I could have told her: you were always mean to me and treated me badly. I won't tolerate it anymore.. Would that have changed things? I don't know. What you are saying I think is you want to be a whole person, not in pieces. And maybe this man does not want to deal with you whole. And maybe that is your intuition and hesitancy. And maybe you feel no safety in the same way I did with my friend. Thank you bbu. We get to make these kinds of decisions about our life. And we get to do so with our own needs central. We can feel empathy and compassion for somebody else. But first we need to feel it for ourselves. this is what you did. I see that. Thank you for modeling that for me. 40, 50, 60 years ago I did not have the experience or strength or support to take a stand for myself. I do now. Thank you. [/QUOTE]
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Brother (in spirit) has shut me out
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