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Family of Origin
Brother (in spirit) has shut me out
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 747177" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>I have an update to this post. </p><p></p><p>My ex-friend's mother died very suddenly following a massive stroke, and ex-friend texted me last week to give me the news since I knew her well, having been close with ex-friend since middle school. Obviously it is a huge shock. She was approaching 80 years of age, but last I heard as of November, no major health issues were troubling her. </p><p></p><p>Several texts were exchanged. I thanked him for his friendship over the years, particularly this past fall when things were so awful for me, and said that I understood he had only the best of intentions. He replied with kindness and suggested that we talk after things calm down a bit for him. I told him that would be fine.</p><p></p><p>I haven't heard from him since then. He said he'd text with information about the service, which he said both he, and his mother, would want me to attend. I offered to leave W at home but he said that she was my wife and welcome to come. </p><p></p><p>At first I was pleased to have heard from him, but now I am full of emotion, much of it negative. Our history over the years has been rather toxic and I was very adamant about this chapter in my life, the one with him in it, being over. Of course there's no guarantee of what this future conversation, should it even occur, would entail. Perhaps he simply wants to formalize our final estrangement with a speech of appreciation for all that we have shared over the years. If so, I'm not interested in that. I am content with letting it go.</p><p></p><p>Of course I am deeply sorry about his mother's passing, but as he texted me, he has the support he needs. It's not necessary for me to involve myself with him again, if I choose not to do so.</p><p></p><p>W and I may simply send flowers to the service and not attend. I haven't decided yet. His mother was cremated and the service is next week.</p><p></p><p>I won't contact him again. Part of me feels that if his mother hadn't passed he would not have reached out. In fact I know that's the case. I don't know how to feel about that.</p><p></p><p>If he contacts me I will respond in some way, and I hope to be loving about it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 747177, member: 13303"] I have an update to this post. My ex-friend's mother died very suddenly following a massive stroke, and ex-friend texted me last week to give me the news since I knew her well, having been close with ex-friend since middle school. Obviously it is a huge shock. She was approaching 80 years of age, but last I heard as of November, no major health issues were troubling her. Several texts were exchanged. I thanked him for his friendship over the years, particularly this past fall when things were so awful for me, and said that I understood he had only the best of intentions. He replied with kindness and suggested that we talk after things calm down a bit for him. I told him that would be fine. I haven't heard from him since then. He said he'd text with information about the service, which he said both he, and his mother, would want me to attend. I offered to leave W at home but he said that she was my wife and welcome to come. At first I was pleased to have heard from him, but now I am full of emotion, much of it negative. Our history over the years has been rather toxic and I was very adamant about this chapter in my life, the one with him in it, being over. Of course there's no guarantee of what this future conversation, should it even occur, would entail. Perhaps he simply wants to formalize our final estrangement with a speech of appreciation for all that we have shared over the years. If so, I'm not interested in that. I am content with letting it go. Of course I am deeply sorry about his mother's passing, but as he texted me, he has the support he needs. It's not necessary for me to involve myself with him again, if I choose not to do so. W and I may simply send flowers to the service and not attend. I haven't decided yet. His mother was cremated and the service is next week. I won't contact him again. Part of me feels that if his mother hadn't passed he would not have reached out. In fact I know that's the case. I don't know how to feel about that. If he contacts me I will respond in some way, and I hope to be loving about it. [/QUOTE]
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