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Parent Emeritus
Brother Keeps Lying and Stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="losinghope281" data-source="post: 731214" data-attributes="member: 22978"><p>Thank you so much for your words SomewhereOutThere,</p><p></p><p>To answer a few of your questions, I am not his payee. The reason I have access is because I asked him to give me his accounts since he opens them without our knowledge and we end up finding out only when it has been maxed out. My parents aren't computer savvy, so they don't know to monitor his credit report or check his accounts. We pay it off so that we don't continually accrue further interest and penalties. I myself have lived out of the house for 8 years which makes it hard for me to keep tabs on him. I have to constantly monitor his financials because if I don't he sneaks off and opens more credit cards. I know my parents will not kick him out, being that we are Asian, there is a shame in our culture for doing that. I know he is capable of working and being sufficient, but for whatever reason he will not stop sneaking around and finding a way to buy things he wants. Even when he had a job, he still spent MORE than he made. It's like he doesn't understand that money isn't free or unlimited. He just keeps doing it without thinking of the consequences. Getting back to why I try to control the situation, he listens to me more than he does my parents, and I have tried to be more patient and understanding of what he wants. And it always goes back to the same thing where I find out he's spent a ton of money he doesn't have and has no way to pay back.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for hearing me out and kudos to your son for being self sufficient and to your guidance and parenting to get him there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="losinghope281, post: 731214, member: 22978"] Thank you so much for your words SomewhereOutThere, To answer a few of your questions, I am not his payee. The reason I have access is because I asked him to give me his accounts since he opens them without our knowledge and we end up finding out only when it has been maxed out. My parents aren't computer savvy, so they don't know to monitor his credit report or check his accounts. We pay it off so that we don't continually accrue further interest and penalties. I myself have lived out of the house for 8 years which makes it hard for me to keep tabs on him. I have to constantly monitor his financials because if I don't he sneaks off and opens more credit cards. I know my parents will not kick him out, being that we are Asian, there is a shame in our culture for doing that. I know he is capable of working and being sufficient, but for whatever reason he will not stop sneaking around and finding a way to buy things he wants. Even when he had a job, he still spent MORE than he made. It's like he doesn't understand that money isn't free or unlimited. He just keeps doing it without thinking of the consequences. Getting back to why I try to control the situation, he listens to me more than he does my parents, and I have tried to be more patient and understanding of what he wants. And it always goes back to the same thing where I find out he's spent a ton of money he doesn't have and has no way to pay back. Thank you for hearing me out and kudos to your son for being self sufficient and to your guidance and parenting to get him there! [/QUOTE]
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