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Bruised and feeling badly.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 344083" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Oh, Honey, I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. Every single thing. My difficult child did so much physical damage to me before I ever got his docs and the hospital involved. First it took finding him choking his sister - IN HER SLEEP - saying he was going to kill her. Then, after he was home from a long psychiatric hospital stay for about a year, he started beating ME. My husband still thinks I over-reacted when I called the Sheriff and had difficult child taken away. He didn't go to jail. He ended up, after 2 days at the Youth Shelter, at my parents. </p><p></p><p>First you need to resolve to NEVER be a battered woman. The lovey next day, now the "you better or you know what will happen" are the exact pattern of an abuser. Wife beater, child abuser, elder abuser, sibling abuser, parent abuser, they ALL follow this pattern. You, the VICTIM, must resolve to first survive it, and then triumph over it.</p><p></p><p>As a parent it is tough. people will want to minimize it, tell you it is your fault, all that bs. Women heard it for years when they were abused. We don't want parent abuse to end up in a Burning Bed situation (NOT that you are near that point!). When my son was first in the psychiatric hospital it looked like he was going to end up the kind of person who beat his wife and raped women (BOTH!). I was literally wondering if I should put him in the car and drive into a bridge support. I am NOT joking. It was the most awful time in my life. I KNOW myself. I could not live with having birthed a child who terrorized women that way. NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT. Luckily I was able to get him to show his stripes and he was able then to be helped.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter needs INTENSE help. It will take a long time. Right now, with her behavior, esp the threat today, she is not SAFE to have in your home.</p><p></p><p>I wonder if the dog would be better if your daughter was not in the home. It sounds like she may have done something to the dog to make him change that way. </p><p></p><p>It is NOT too late to go to the police dept to make a report. It will start a paper trail that can lead to treatment. Reporting to her therapist is good, but the psychiatrist MUST know also. The psychiatrist may be able to order a hospital bed for her or a place in day treatment that might help.</p><p></p><p>Please talk to the therapist about having difficult child placed in a foster home until she can be placed in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or hospital. It really is not safe to have her at home. She could come in while you are sleeping and maim or kill you. In a rage she truly may not remember things, and her perception of events probably is exactly what she wrote to you. Save that letter as proof that she is not in touch with reality when she starts a rage. It is another sign of how much help she needs.</p><p></p><p>Feel FREE to pm me if you need to talk to someone who has truly been there. I will PM with you, or exchange email/phone numbers if you need to talk in real life or by email.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 344083, member: 1233"] Oh, Honey, I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. Every single thing. My difficult child did so much physical damage to me before I ever got his docs and the hospital involved. First it took finding him choking his sister - IN HER SLEEP - saying he was going to kill her. Then, after he was home from a long psychiatric hospital stay for about a year, he started beating ME. My husband still thinks I over-reacted when I called the Sheriff and had difficult child taken away. He didn't go to jail. He ended up, after 2 days at the Youth Shelter, at my parents. First you need to resolve to NEVER be a battered woman. The lovey next day, now the "you better or you know what will happen" are the exact pattern of an abuser. Wife beater, child abuser, elder abuser, sibling abuser, parent abuser, they ALL follow this pattern. You, the VICTIM, must resolve to first survive it, and then triumph over it. As a parent it is tough. people will want to minimize it, tell you it is your fault, all that bs. Women heard it for years when they were abused. We don't want parent abuse to end up in a Burning Bed situation (NOT that you are near that point!). When my son was first in the psychiatric hospital it looked like he was going to end up the kind of person who beat his wife and raped women (BOTH!). I was literally wondering if I should put him in the car and drive into a bridge support. I am NOT joking. It was the most awful time in my life. I KNOW myself. I could not live with having birthed a child who terrorized women that way. NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT. Luckily I was able to get him to show his stripes and he was able then to be helped. Your daughter needs INTENSE help. It will take a long time. Right now, with her behavior, esp the threat today, she is not SAFE to have in your home. I wonder if the dog would be better if your daughter was not in the home. It sounds like she may have done something to the dog to make him change that way. It is NOT too late to go to the police dept to make a report. It will start a paper trail that can lead to treatment. Reporting to her therapist is good, but the psychiatrist MUST know also. The psychiatrist may be able to order a hospital bed for her or a place in day treatment that might help. Please talk to the therapist about having difficult child placed in a foster home until she can be placed in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or hospital. It really is not safe to have her at home. She could come in while you are sleeping and maim or kill you. In a rage she truly may not remember things, and her perception of events probably is exactly what she wrote to you. Save that letter as proof that she is not in touch with reality when she starts a rage. It is another sign of how much help she needs. Feel FREE to pm me if you need to talk to someone who has truly been there. I will PM with you, or exchange email/phone numbers if you need to talk in real life or by email. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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