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But, how do YOU feel?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 618103" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>BITS, I can relate to what you are saying. On my FB page are many people I went to HS with on the East Coast who are mostly high achievers who raised high achievers. Periodically, one will mention something their adult child has accomplished. One time an old friend posted an article about her son who is a Doctor who invented some remarkable technology for the medical field which will help millions and make him millions. My first thought at the time was, "great, my daughter, the same age as this guy, is perhaps sleeping under a bridge tonight or in jail," it made me feel sad. When I got embarrassed was when she posted some really inappropriate sexual stuff on FB which my mother and some of my friends could see. </p><p></p><p>What really helped me was humor............I would mention these things my difficult child did or said to my SO (who is a very funny guy) and invariably he would have some funny, usually outrageous remark which would make me laugh and that would take away the embarrassment and sort of even it all out somehow.............as if I could really see the absurdity of all of it and then let it go. I hardly feel any of that embarrassment anymore.............and if I do, I tell SO and he can almost always think of some hilarious response which puts an end to it. Humor is such a healing salve for a wounded or broken heart..................</p><p></p><p>That reminds me of a old friend of mine who lives in New York City and is also a very funny woman...........once when she and I were chatting on the phone about our kids, she mentioned a friend of hers who has a easy child and a difficult child and this Mom's line about her kids is "My daughter is at Brown and my son is at Rykers." And everyone laughs.............I'm sure the Mom had her moments in hell as we have, but I admired that she could make it into something which makes her laugh and others laugh too. </p><p></p><p>Another old HS friend has one child, a difficult child and it has ruined her life................completely................</p><p></p><p>It is what it is, we can cry about it, be shamed about it, resent it, flip out about it, have it ruin our lives..........or we can accept it and look at it differently .........it takes time, but I believe we can get through it and bring joy back into our lives...........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 618103, member: 13542"] BITS, I can relate to what you are saying. On my FB page are many people I went to HS with on the East Coast who are mostly high achievers who raised high achievers. Periodically, one will mention something their adult child has accomplished. One time an old friend posted an article about her son who is a Doctor who invented some remarkable technology for the medical field which will help millions and make him millions. My first thought at the time was, "great, my daughter, the same age as this guy, is perhaps sleeping under a bridge tonight or in jail," it made me feel sad. When I got embarrassed was when she posted some really inappropriate sexual stuff on FB which my mother and some of my friends could see. What really helped me was humor............I would mention these things my difficult child did or said to my SO (who is a very funny guy) and invariably he would have some funny, usually outrageous remark which would make me laugh and that would take away the embarrassment and sort of even it all out somehow.............as if I could really see the absurdity of all of it and then let it go. I hardly feel any of that embarrassment anymore.............and if I do, I tell SO and he can almost always think of some hilarious response which puts an end to it. Humor is such a healing salve for a wounded or broken heart.................. That reminds me of a old friend of mine who lives in New York City and is also a very funny woman...........once when she and I were chatting on the phone about our kids, she mentioned a friend of hers who has a easy child and a difficult child and this Mom's line about her kids is "My daughter is at Brown and my son is at Rykers." And everyone laughs.............I'm sure the Mom had her moments in hell as we have, but I admired that she could make it into something which makes her laugh and others laugh too. Another old HS friend has one child, a difficult child and it has ruined her life................completely................ It is what it is, we can cry about it, be shamed about it, resent it, flip out about it, have it ruin our lives..........or we can accept it and look at it differently .........it takes time, but I believe we can get through it and bring joy back into our lives........... [/QUOTE]
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