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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 638018" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think you are being manipulated. And I don't think he's ready to quit if he is talking about smoking a blunt when he gets home. And it's abusive bullying to threaten you, yes.</p><p></p><p>If you think he might be getting bullied, call staff and ask if they have cameras in the place. If so, have them check. If not, have them check his body for bruises and other marks of physical bullying. I know that when I had a foster child in residential, they had cameras running all over 24/7. He may just be saying that to soften up your mommy heart. They are good at that. Be sure to have them check and ex-ray that elbow.</p><p></p><p>When I had my first child, he was a terror, so I decided to adopt my other kids...lol. My family tree's DNA leaves a lot to be desired. It pretty much worked. Although one of them did do drugs for five years in high school, she really straightened out and quit and has been straight for ten years now and is doing well. I wanted other kids, just not kids who were like my first. I knew that all kids were not like him and I hoped to have some easy child kids. It worked, but I so know how you you felt with your child.</p><p></p><p>I not only was happy when difficult child left, I made him leave and he can never live with us again. We get along fine as long as he's in another state and I can hang up on him if he gets verbally abusive. When my daughter was using drugs I had to make her leave too, but, under the drug use, she was such a sweet and good person, I cried for three weeks. I cried when my autistic son, who is high functioning and whom everyone loves to death, moved to an apartment a few blocks away. I cried my eyes out when my youngest, my great easy child who has given both my husband and myself tons and tons of pleasure, moved to college.</p><p></p><p>My autistic son Sonic and Jumper, my easy child, never gave us a lick of trouble in their lives.</p><p></p><p>difficult child was a chronic problem starting in toddlerhood and it is a real wonder that I ever wanted to attempt raising another child, but I'm glad I did.</p><p></p><p>Even though my PCs are wonderful, I am happy with an empty nest. Living with grown kids can be stressful, if only because of the crowding and mess. Living with a grown difficult child, unless you live in a mansion and can hide a lot, is a little bit like torture. You always feel as if you are walking on eggshells. You are always waiting for the other shoe to drop.</p><p></p><p></p><p>If you give him another change, do it with your eyes wide open. Look for signs of recurrent drug abuse. Does he steal? If so, lock everything up so he can't. Cut off the money (my opinion) and make him work. And I"ll cross my fingers, eyes and toes for you. My daughter quit drugs and your son can too. But he has to WANT to quit. That's the key.</p><p></p><p>Don't lose your peace of mind. It's your house. If you find he doesn't like your rules, you have all the power. You can tell him to get clean and come back when he is. Take a deep breath, but he will have to prove his sobriety to you. You are the one in control here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 638018, member: 1550"] I think you are being manipulated. And I don't think he's ready to quit if he is talking about smoking a blunt when he gets home. And it's abusive bullying to threaten you, yes. If you think he might be getting bullied, call staff and ask if they have cameras in the place. If so, have them check. If not, have them check his body for bruises and other marks of physical bullying. I know that when I had a foster child in residential, they had cameras running all over 24/7. He may just be saying that to soften up your mommy heart. They are good at that. Be sure to have them check and ex-ray that elbow. When I had my first child, he was a terror, so I decided to adopt my other kids...lol. My family tree's DNA leaves a lot to be desired. It pretty much worked. Although one of them did do drugs for five years in high school, she really straightened out and quit and has been straight for ten years now and is doing well. I wanted other kids, just not kids who were like my first. I knew that all kids were not like him and I hoped to have some easy child kids. It worked, but I so know how you you felt with your child. I not only was happy when difficult child left, I made him leave and he can never live with us again. We get along fine as long as he's in another state and I can hang up on him if he gets verbally abusive. When my daughter was using drugs I had to make her leave too, but, under the drug use, she was such a sweet and good person, I cried for three weeks. I cried when my autistic son, who is high functioning and whom everyone loves to death, moved to an apartment a few blocks away. I cried my eyes out when my youngest, my great easy child who has given both my husband and myself tons and tons of pleasure, moved to college. My autistic son Sonic and Jumper, my easy child, never gave us a lick of trouble in their lives. difficult child was a chronic problem starting in toddlerhood and it is a real wonder that I ever wanted to attempt raising another child, but I'm glad I did. Even though my PCs are wonderful, I am happy with an empty nest. Living with grown kids can be stressful, if only because of the crowding and mess. Living with a grown difficult child, unless you live in a mansion and can hide a lot, is a little bit like torture. You always feel as if you are walking on eggshells. You are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you give him another change, do it with your eyes wide open. Look for signs of recurrent drug abuse. Does he steal? If so, lock everything up so he can't. Cut off the money (my opinion) and make him work. And I"ll cross my fingers, eyes and toes for you. My daughter quit drugs and your son can too. But he has to WANT to quit. That's the key. Don't lose your peace of mind. It's your house. If you find he doesn't like your rules, you have all the power. You can tell him to get clean and come back when he is. Take a deep breath, but he will have to prove his sobriety to you. You are the one in control here. [/QUOTE]
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