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Can an O.D.D child turn out ok?
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<blockquote data-quote="overwhelmedandneedhelp" data-source="post: 607570" data-attributes="member: 16931"><p>If any questions about timing please ask. I was typing but don't have time to go back and organize time line right now. </p><p></p><p>Birth was complicated but still vaginal. 10.5lb and prior to birth nobody believed me that it was a huge baby. I asked several times for a C section but my husband insisted on a vaginal birth. They ended up using a vacuum to get him out. Other than the vacuum everything seemed fine after that in terms of newborn health. He did have the skin under his tongue clipped because he couldn't nurse. He also had torticollis form being so big and crammed inside.</p><p></p><p>As a newborn he was aweful. Never slept, required to be held all of the time. Screamed at the top of his lungs if he wasn't being held. Never slept in his crib one night, his dad would sit on the chair and let him fall asleep on his shoulder I physically could not do it as the delivery was so bad and it took months for me to heal. Husband took over care giving and resented me for it, still does. I probably had ppd but was not treated. Husband was not supportive in that respect and I guess when you're living it you don't understand you need help so I never asked for help. </p><p></p><p>We got through early childhood years ok although he was always a little difficult, nothing seemed out of the ordinary then other than the sleep issue where he never would sleep on his own. When he was three, I suspected something was going on with reading ability. One day he would learn letters, the next day it was like he had never seen them before - ever. Husband took his sisters advice over mine and said "My sister says all kids are like this and he's only 3". Keep in mind his sister is single at 50+and never had kids. He brushed my concerns aside. </p><p></p><p>Refusal to go to school started in 1st grade and that's when he was informally diagnosed with dyslexia, I probably have dyslexia but have not been diagnosed. He started throwing fits when getting ready for school in the morning and again, I couldn't physically handle him so his dad had to step in and man handle him to get his clothes on. Pin him down while the shirt was forcefully removed, etc.. I wanted to get help but my husband resorted to his sister for advice again. sigh.... Husband picked him up from school and before they got home they would have a full fast food meal. every day. So when I tried cooking, neither was hungry and everything would end up in the refrigerator never eaten. I stopped cooking despite my concern over the fast food diet husband had allowed.</p><p></p><p>1st-3rd he was tutored for dyslexia and his reading improved. He was still very frustrated and would come home and knock over chairs, etc... so we got an educational physiological evaluation and he was formally diagnosed with dyslexia, word retrieval, mixed expressive receptive disorder. Average - above average IQ. Private school refused to teach him as they were fast paced school and he couldn't keep up reading wise. 4th grade he went to a public school and seemed to do very well. He was pulled out for reading and math, he has a 504 plan so gets extra time on tests. Passed the end of year tests and was really excited he did.</p><p></p><p>We were transferred due to a job move this summer and the move has not gone well. He started at a day care and when we tried to drop him off he kicked and punched his dad. I've never seen anything like it before. We tried several day cares/summer programs but son wanted to do something with computers so it took several tries to get him into the right program. He would come home and yell, cry, basically make our life miserable. Things were good when we found a place that allowed computers. All went well again. </p><p></p><p>School started well this year. Got through the first week ok. He went Tuesday after labor day and all seemed well. Wednesday he said he was sick and couldn't go. We forced the issue knowing he wasn't sick but was probably anxious about it. He then refused to let husband leave the house. Once husband got into the car, son wouldn't let him back out of the driveway. (stood behind the car). He stayed home W,Th, Friday. Th on the way to school he had a full blown panic attack and husband was afraid he was going to jump out of the car. Being new to the area I didn't know who to call so I called the hospital and signed him up for a outpatient counseling program. Monday he refused school again so Tues he went to outpatient. Well... he started kicking, punching, etc.. husband and the hospital admitted him for being violent. So he was inpatient for a week and is currently in the outpatient program. They diagnosed him with anxiety and separation anxiety. The counselor yesterday said O.D.D although that's not an official diagnosis.</p><p></p><p></p><p>As to home life...in my opinion my husband is passive aggressive toward me. Strangely enough I'm just now seeing this after 11 years of marriage. My husband wanted son to play baseball and they did.. but then husband seemed to get stars in his eyes after seeing how "good" he was at baseball so then then came travel team and this is where our marriage seemed to fall apart. I didn't want him on a travel team due to the intensity and number of games. Husband went against my wishes and signed him up anyway. We're talking 60 games in 2-3 month time. They were never home. I complained I never got to see my son and was told if I wanted to see him I could see him at the ballgames. ??????? I tried to explain no... I wanted to spend time with my son alone, not with a team of kids. I hated everything about the ball games. It was hot at 105 for some games and they were forcing my son to stand in long polyester pants when he didn't want to play. This wasn't one ballgame a day.. it could be three or four in a single day starting at 8am and due to the travel aspect they wouldn't get home until midnight in some cases. I was being told where and when my kid had to be somewhere by the team "mom". My husband totally took away my parenting ability. And he didn't care. Then I found out about his 'emotional' affair he was having with a single mom of another baseball player. Phone records proved it. So we started counseling, he told me it was done, but it was not as I found out a few months later when I took his cell phone one night and drove to a local parking lot where I could go through his phone without him there. Our son saw me storm out of the house then. I ended up on Lexapro for two months and that helped. </p><p></p><p>So as to 'abuse' and home life... husband and I are never physically abusive toward each other. But emotionally.. looking back my husband definitely was passive aggressive to me. And still is. The most recent event last week was laundry related. I do not know what I did to have him act like this but one day he decided to do laundry.. ok.. fine. Well he only did his clothes and our sons clothes not mine but didn't tell me this. So here I'm thinking he did laundry so when it came time for me to go to work the following Monday I had no clean clothes. When I asked, he said.. I found the hampers (they had been packed) so we went back to the old way of laundry. Problem is... he never informed me 'we went back to the old way'. He Never said a word about it but had the "we went back to the old way with three hampers". as if I should have known it. I didn't even know he found the hampers. So that's how he operates. You don't know he 'got you' for something until you figure it out later. If that makes any sense. </p><p></p><p>My husband is the feeler in the family, I'm not. I'm the matter of fact type.. you do this you get this. Husband is overly huggy and wants to hug our son for anything good he does. Yesterday husband wanted me to give our son a hug for getting off the computer. ?????huh?????</p><p>That's over the top to me. </p><p>so official diagnosis: Mixed Receptive Expressive disorder, learning disability (dyslexia) word retrieval, anxiety, separation anxiety, and started on Zoloft last week while in the hospital.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overwhelmedandneedhelp, post: 607570, member: 16931"] If any questions about timing please ask. I was typing but don't have time to go back and organize time line right now. Birth was complicated but still vaginal. 10.5lb and prior to birth nobody believed me that it was a huge baby. I asked several times for a C section but my husband insisted on a vaginal birth. They ended up using a vacuum to get him out. Other than the vacuum everything seemed fine after that in terms of newborn health. He did have the skin under his tongue clipped because he couldn't nurse. He also had torticollis form being so big and crammed inside. As a newborn he was aweful. Never slept, required to be held all of the time. Screamed at the top of his lungs if he wasn't being held. Never slept in his crib one night, his dad would sit on the chair and let him fall asleep on his shoulder I physically could not do it as the delivery was so bad and it took months for me to heal. Husband took over care giving and resented me for it, still does. I probably had ppd but was not treated. Husband was not supportive in that respect and I guess when you're living it you don't understand you need help so I never asked for help. We got through early childhood years ok although he was always a little difficult, nothing seemed out of the ordinary then other than the sleep issue where he never would sleep on his own. When he was three, I suspected something was going on with reading ability. One day he would learn letters, the next day it was like he had never seen them before - ever. Husband took his sisters advice over mine and said "My sister says all kids are like this and he's only 3". Keep in mind his sister is single at 50+and never had kids. He brushed my concerns aside. Refusal to go to school started in 1st grade and that's when he was informally diagnosed with dyslexia, I probably have dyslexia but have not been diagnosed. He started throwing fits when getting ready for school in the morning and again, I couldn't physically handle him so his dad had to step in and man handle him to get his clothes on. Pin him down while the shirt was forcefully removed, etc.. I wanted to get help but my husband resorted to his sister for advice again. sigh.... Husband picked him up from school and before they got home they would have a full fast food meal. every day. So when I tried cooking, neither was hungry and everything would end up in the refrigerator never eaten. I stopped cooking despite my concern over the fast food diet husband had allowed. 1st-3rd he was tutored for dyslexia and his reading improved. He was still very frustrated and would come home and knock over chairs, etc... so we got an educational physiological evaluation and he was formally diagnosed with dyslexia, word retrieval, mixed expressive receptive disorder. Average - above average IQ. Private school refused to teach him as they were fast paced school and he couldn't keep up reading wise. 4th grade he went to a public school and seemed to do very well. He was pulled out for reading and math, he has a 504 plan so gets extra time on tests. Passed the end of year tests and was really excited he did. We were transferred due to a job move this summer and the move has not gone well. He started at a day care and when we tried to drop him off he kicked and punched his dad. I've never seen anything like it before. We tried several day cares/summer programs but son wanted to do something with computers so it took several tries to get him into the right program. He would come home and yell, cry, basically make our life miserable. Things were good when we found a place that allowed computers. All went well again. School started well this year. Got through the first week ok. He went Tuesday after labor day and all seemed well. Wednesday he said he was sick and couldn't go. We forced the issue knowing he wasn't sick but was probably anxious about it. He then refused to let husband leave the house. Once husband got into the car, son wouldn't let him back out of the driveway. (stood behind the car). He stayed home W,Th, Friday. Th on the way to school he had a full blown panic attack and husband was afraid he was going to jump out of the car. Being new to the area I didn't know who to call so I called the hospital and signed him up for a outpatient counseling program. Monday he refused school again so Tues he went to outpatient. Well... he started kicking, punching, etc.. husband and the hospital admitted him for being violent. So he was inpatient for a week and is currently in the outpatient program. They diagnosed him with anxiety and separation anxiety. The counselor yesterday said O.D.D although that's not an official diagnosis. As to home life...in my opinion my husband is passive aggressive toward me. Strangely enough I'm just now seeing this after 11 years of marriage. My husband wanted son to play baseball and they did.. but then husband seemed to get stars in his eyes after seeing how "good" he was at baseball so then then came travel team and this is where our marriage seemed to fall apart. I didn't want him on a travel team due to the intensity and number of games. Husband went against my wishes and signed him up anyway. We're talking 60 games in 2-3 month time. They were never home. I complained I never got to see my son and was told if I wanted to see him I could see him at the ballgames. ??????? I tried to explain no... I wanted to spend time with my son alone, not with a team of kids. I hated everything about the ball games. It was hot at 105 for some games and they were forcing my son to stand in long polyester pants when he didn't want to play. This wasn't one ballgame a day.. it could be three or four in a single day starting at 8am and due to the travel aspect they wouldn't get home until midnight in some cases. I was being told where and when my kid had to be somewhere by the team "mom". My husband totally took away my parenting ability. And he didn't care. Then I found out about his 'emotional' affair he was having with a single mom of another baseball player. Phone records proved it. So we started counseling, he told me it was done, but it was not as I found out a few months later when I took his cell phone one night and drove to a local parking lot where I could go through his phone without him there. Our son saw me storm out of the house then. I ended up on Lexapro for two months and that helped. So as to 'abuse' and home life... husband and I are never physically abusive toward each other. But emotionally.. looking back my husband definitely was passive aggressive to me. And still is. The most recent event last week was laundry related. I do not know what I did to have him act like this but one day he decided to do laundry.. ok.. fine. Well he only did his clothes and our sons clothes not mine but didn't tell me this. So here I'm thinking he did laundry so when it came time for me to go to work the following Monday I had no clean clothes. When I asked, he said.. I found the hampers (they had been packed) so we went back to the old way of laundry. Problem is... he never informed me 'we went back to the old way'. He Never said a word about it but had the "we went back to the old way with three hampers". as if I should have known it. I didn't even know he found the hampers. So that's how he operates. You don't know he 'got you' for something until you figure it out later. If that makes any sense. My husband is the feeler in the family, I'm not. I'm the matter of fact type.. you do this you get this. Husband is overly huggy and wants to hug our son for anything good he does. Yesterday husband wanted me to give our son a hug for getting off the computer. ?????huh????? That's over the top to me. so official diagnosis: Mixed Receptive Expressive disorder, learning disability (dyslexia) word retrieval, anxiety, separation anxiety, and started on Zoloft last week while in the hospital. [/QUOTE]
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