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Can an O.D.D child turn out ok?
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<blockquote data-quote="overwhelmedandneedhelp" data-source="post: 607790" data-attributes="member: 16931"><p>Searching for Rainbows... this is EXACTLY what I've come to understand these past few weeks. Separating/divorcing is out of the question - financially. I also think that would cause more problems with son (what does difficult child stand for? I won't use it until I know what that means). So we HAVE to work this out and get on the same page. </p><p></p><p>What I don't understand is how "husband", doesn't get it" in terms of what a parent should do. One thing happened last night. It would be funny if it weren't so stupid. </p><p>I told son to take a shower. He said no. I said he needed to take one every single day. He gets up and walks toward his bedroom. ( He's 10, he'll be maturing and getting the stink to him sooner rather than later. he needs to get into the habit now. ) </p><p>What I didn't know what that 'husband' was back there and son came up with a shower plan where he would only take a shower on certain days. PE days or game days. husband thought the part of him coming up with a plan was great and said ok. Of course I'm furious when I hear this but we've been told not to argue in front of son so I say nothing. Son seemingly gets his way at the time, husband has no conflict with son, so what's my problem. rolling my eyes. </p><p></p><p>So today we have a counseling session. She asks if we have anything we need to talk about, husband has nothing but glowing report. Me on the other hand tell the shower story above. She confirms that son does need a shower/bath every day. But get this... husband says he never knew I told son anything and he thought it was great he was solving a problem. LOL Then he tells the counselor that our schedule is too tightly packed for son to take a shower every day. Then I get into the.. well if we weren't' arguing with him for an hour we would have time. All he has to do is get in and do it. Counselor told us son was "splitting" and dividing and conquering us. He was affecting our marriage and adding tension. I really hope husband understands that's the exact truth.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't understand why he enables our son to be like this. and that's exactly what it is. He can't step up and be the parent this child needs. He's soft so son always runs to him and is always allowed to take the easy way out. and yes, I'm the bad guy here. Always have been.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overwhelmedandneedhelp, post: 607790, member: 16931"] Searching for Rainbows... this is EXACTLY what I've come to understand these past few weeks. Separating/divorcing is out of the question - financially. I also think that would cause more problems with son (what does difficult child stand for? I won't use it until I know what that means). So we HAVE to work this out and get on the same page. What I don't understand is how "husband", doesn't get it" in terms of what a parent should do. One thing happened last night. It would be funny if it weren't so stupid. I told son to take a shower. He said no. I said he needed to take one every single day. He gets up and walks toward his bedroom. ( He's 10, he'll be maturing and getting the stink to him sooner rather than later. he needs to get into the habit now. ) What I didn't know what that 'husband' was back there and son came up with a shower plan where he would only take a shower on certain days. PE days or game days. husband thought the part of him coming up with a plan was great and said ok. Of course I'm furious when I hear this but we've been told not to argue in front of son so I say nothing. Son seemingly gets his way at the time, husband has no conflict with son, so what's my problem. rolling my eyes. So today we have a counseling session. She asks if we have anything we need to talk about, husband has nothing but glowing report. Me on the other hand tell the shower story above. She confirms that son does need a shower/bath every day. But get this... husband says he never knew I told son anything and he thought it was great he was solving a problem. LOL Then he tells the counselor that our schedule is too tightly packed for son to take a shower every day. Then I get into the.. well if we weren't' arguing with him for an hour we would have time. All he has to do is get in and do it. Counselor told us son was "splitting" and dividing and conquering us. He was affecting our marriage and adding tension. I really hope husband understands that's the exact truth. I don't understand why he enables our son to be like this. and that's exactly what it is. He can't step up and be the parent this child needs. He's soft so son always runs to him and is always allowed to take the easy way out. and yes, I'm the bad guy here. Always have been. [/QUOTE]
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