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General Parenting
Can I Have Your Opinions Please?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 404052" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You did exactly the right thing. Not sure why husband is upset that your son thinks if he wants something he should ask if he can work and earn money for it. His objections don't make sense to me, but it may just be me. </p><p> </p><p>It was awesome problem solving. He did NOT have a tantrum, whine, or beg or demand. He is willing to do the work and THEN get the money for the item!!! he did NOT askf or $$ now and promise to do the work later!!!!! Those are HUGE and wonderful things for a difficult child esp!!! (Heck, I have friends who would be thrilled if their HUSBANDS did this!!)</p><p> </p><p>If dishes are not one of his everyday chores, then it is reasonable to pay him to do what is considered one of the "parent's" jobs at this time. This doesn't mean that dishes cannot become his assigned chore at any later date. I know we often set a price for a job based on the difficulty and estimated amount of time to do it properly. If not done properly, we don't pay. If it takes you longer because you goofed off, not our problem. </p><p> </p><p>It is different for every family, but I think you did exactly right - exactly what I would have done. My major rule for judging this kind of thing is to go with my instincts. If it feels like the right thing, then I go with it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 404052, member: 1233"] You did exactly the right thing. Not sure why husband is upset that your son thinks if he wants something he should ask if he can work and earn money for it. His objections don't make sense to me, but it may just be me. It was awesome problem solving. He did NOT have a tantrum, whine, or beg or demand. He is willing to do the work and THEN get the money for the item!!! he did NOT askf or $$ now and promise to do the work later!!!!! Those are HUGE and wonderful things for a difficult child esp!!! (Heck, I have friends who would be thrilled if their HUSBANDS did this!!) If dishes are not one of his everyday chores, then it is reasonable to pay him to do what is considered one of the "parent's" jobs at this time. This doesn't mean that dishes cannot become his assigned chore at any later date. I know we often set a price for a job based on the difficulty and estimated amount of time to do it properly. If not done properly, we don't pay. If it takes you longer because you goofed off, not our problem. It is different for every family, but I think you did exactly right - exactly what I would have done. My major rule for judging this kind of thing is to go with my instincts. If it feels like the right thing, then I go with it. [/QUOTE]
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