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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 627004" data-attributes="member: 17269">MWM,what jumps out at me here is the text fight.&nbsp; When SO and I were in a year long knock down drag out mud wrestling survival fight, we both saw our own &quot;relationship therapists&quot; and we saw one together...ALL of them said &quot;no texting.&quot;They said if the text is anything more personal than &quot;I'll be home at 5&quot;, don't send it.They were totally right.&nbsp; TExt fighting is awful, destructive, confusing, doesn't deliver the message properly, and can be saved to brood over and provoke more harm.&nbsp; Next time...stop the texting and say &quot;lets stop texting and talk&quot;.&nbsp; We (SO and I) had a hard time changing modes, since texting was kind of a &quot;safe&quot; feeling zone to talk about sensitive stuff...but it was a safe place to attack the other person from too, and that isn't OK.Now for your question...the answer is ...I DON&quot;T KNOW!!!I do feel weirdly shut down when I'm told by people I love that I can't bring up a topic that is important or integral to my life.And I told my loving sister this January that I did NOT want to talk with her about difficult child, and that if he and she were in contact I did NOT want to hear about it.&nbsp; That has lead to an awkward, elephant in the room type situation.I like crazy in VA's approach...using it each time the topic comes up, instead of delivering a dictum.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 627004, member: 17269"] MWM, what jumps out at me here is the text fight. When SO and I were in a year long knock down drag out mud wrestling survival fight, we both saw our own "relationship therapists" and we saw one together...ALL of them said "no texting." They said if the text is anything more personal than "I'll be home at 5", don't send it. They were totally right. TExt fighting is awful, destructive, confusing, doesn't deliver the message properly, and can be saved to brood over and provoke more harm. Next time...stop the texting and say "lets stop texting and talk". We (SO and I) had a hard time changing modes, since texting was kind of a "safe" feeling zone to talk about sensitive stuff...but it was a safe place to attack the other person from too, and that isn't OK. Now for your question...the answer is ...I DON"T KNOW!!! I do feel weirdly shut down when I'm told by people I love that I can't bring up a topic that is important or integral to my life. And I told my loving sister this January that I did NOT want to talk with her about difficult child, and that if he and she were in contact I did NOT want to hear about it. That has lead to an awkward, elephant in the room type situation. I like crazy in VA's approach...using it each time the topic comes up, instead of delivering a dictum. [/QUOTE]

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