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Can you forgive him forever?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 742459" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I see love and forgiveness as two separate things. I will always love my son no matter what.... and so far I have forgiven him for the things he has done to me, but that may not always be true.... but I will say I have not forgotten them. That would be foolish because the truth is that as much as I love my son I dont know that I can ever really trust him, even if he is ever really clean and sober I doubt I can really trust him. I think he would like to me (and probably steal from me) if it was to serve his purposes. This is why I have accepted that my daughter does not want a relationship with him, because she has good reason to protect herself from this kind of thing.... and I continue with my eyes wide open. And I doubt I would ever let him live with me again. So yes I love him, but I think I see him realistically and that means wearing some armour and protecting myself emotionally and I see nothing wrong with that. For me at this point, that does not mean cutting off a relationship with him, but I can see situations where it could mean that and I dont see anything wrong with that if that is what that requires.</p><p></p><p>In another very different situation with my dad I was very angry about some things he did to my mother during their divorce (I was an adult when they got divorced). I barely had a relationship with him for 10 years because of this.... and eventually I did decide to rebuild a relationship with him. So I did rebuild a realtionship but still there was a piece that I never forgave him for.... and that definitely affected how close we could be. And it just was..... there was no way to resolve the issue it just was. In a sense I had to let it go but it affected how I thought of him as a man and as a person. Yet he was still my dad and I still loved him.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 742459, member: 15801"] I see love and forgiveness as two separate things. I will always love my son no matter what.... and so far I have forgiven him for the things he has done to me, but that may not always be true.... but I will say I have not forgotten them. That would be foolish because the truth is that as much as I love my son I dont know that I can ever really trust him, even if he is ever really clean and sober I doubt I can really trust him. I think he would like to me (and probably steal from me) if it was to serve his purposes. This is why I have accepted that my daughter does not want a relationship with him, because she has good reason to protect herself from this kind of thing.... and I continue with my eyes wide open. And I doubt I would ever let him live with me again. So yes I love him, but I think I see him realistically and that means wearing some armour and protecting myself emotionally and I see nothing wrong with that. For me at this point, that does not mean cutting off a relationship with him, but I can see situations where it could mean that and I dont see anything wrong with that if that is what that requires. In another very different situation with my dad I was very angry about some things he did to my mother during their divorce (I was an adult when they got divorced). I barely had a relationship with him for 10 years because of this.... and eventually I did decide to rebuild a relationship with him. So I did rebuild a realtionship but still there was a piece that I never forgave him for.... and that definitely affected how close we could be. And it just was..... there was no way to resolve the issue it just was. In a sense I had to let it go but it affected how I thought of him as a man and as a person. Yet he was still my dad and I still loved him. TL [/QUOTE]
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Can you forgive him forever?
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