Copa I think that you are probably correct that he doesn't intend to hurt me to the depth that he is hurting me. Does a kid ever know how much he can hurt his parent?
I'd like to eliminate the term evil because that has religious overtones to me. My son in prison has limited means of getting what he wants. There is no internet or even a phone book in prison. To correspond by email requires permissions. I gave my son the name and address of the adoption agency that handled his adoption. Closed adoptions are the only legal kind in that state. He said they wrote back to him and said that if he gave them a few hundred they would hire a private investigator to find her and ask her if she wanted contact. He has no money and won't get it from me. So frustration is a huge factor in his trying to force me. He has no one else outside who would be able to find the name. As far as I know he is not in contact with anyone else besides myself and my son. His ex girlfriend has moved on finally. My mother took his call once. His ex gfs mother might send him the odd $20 or book but that's it. And, just FYI his ex gfs mother who is an attorney testified on his behalf at his sentencing hearing. Despite both of them being heroin addicts, my kid did take good care of her daughter. He did support her when he clearly could have lived off of her, manipulated and used her in every way.
I agree with Copa that sociopath is a knee jerk diagnosis when a crime is committed. Its the same, in my sadly vast experience of new therapists, when the child is adopted, it must be about being adopted. We have to waste weeks talking about adoption before we can talk about anything else. And when a placement never lasts long no wonder we never get anywhere in therapy!
About DSM. I recognize that some people see this as definitive. I have a different view. It is actually a fluid consensus of current opinion. Opinions change. My son did and does fit much of the DSM definition of bipolar. But not all. He also has contamination phobia. But is not Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). He may or may not meet the DSM definition of anything today. That doesn't mean he won't in the next edition of DSM. So I learned years ago not to get caught up in DSM. It's useful for billing purposes. Not helpful for my son.
Yes, long term observation is necessary for diagnosis. Doctors need to put a diagnosis on a piece of paper the first time they meet a patient. How can we believe that diagnosis? And how many times has an addict acted out so they get drugs? The hospital dr who called my kid a sociopath routinely had him sedated unconscious for 36 hours at a time. If I didn't schedule a visit I don't know that he would have been out of sedation much. But he was an addict. All he had to do was scream and push staff. This same place, if they were in isolation would give them a sandwich for a meal, if there was an extra one. If not, oh well part of your punishment. Maybe next meal.
