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Can't catch a break...
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 708437" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Lil. Reading your post made me EXHALE with relief. I had not realized I had been holding my breath. Every single thing you write applies to me.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>a dad's is a view about life that I find immensely comforting and hopeful. I wish I had lived this way and maybe I will set it as a goal (not looking good people...I am intense, high-strung, reactive and lacking of control....although kind). I am curious what a dad's wife is like. Is your outlook, a dad, common in your culture or did your wife and children just get lucky?</p><p></p><p>You know, I was born 3 months premature at a time when babies often did not live or had profound health problems. I have personality characteristics that have made my life hard sometimes: emotionality and sensitivity to name a couple. In my early adulthood I read a bit about effects of prematurity and saw there were many consequences emotionally to the child. And such were permanent and irreversible. I felt kind of shattered and ashamed.</p><p></p><p>If you think about it, all of us are marked (sometimes, crushed) really in some way by our lives, whether genetically or by difficult experience and relationships.</p><p></p><p>The whole point of life, really, as I see it now that I am older, is to respond to who and where we are in ways that are adaptive and hopeful. We carry culture, each of us. That our individual choices are constructive is the mechanism that allows the human species (and world) to survive.</p><p></p><p>I wonder if our responses to our difficult children are in fact genetically fueled, because we fear we are failing in our mission. Because just like worker ants have their work to do, so do we. And we panic because our little worker ant babies are shirking their jobs!</p><p></p><p>(Sometimes I look at my posts and wonder how you guys can be so patient with me as I travel so far off the reservation.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 708437, member: 18958"] Lil. Reading your post made me EXHALE with relief. I had not realized I had been holding my breath. Every single thing you write applies to me. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. a dad's is a view about life that I find immensely comforting and hopeful. I wish I had lived this way and maybe I will set it as a goal (not looking good people...I am intense, high-strung, reactive and lacking of control....although kind). I am curious what a dad's wife is like. Is your outlook, a dad, common in your culture or did your wife and children just get lucky? You know, I was born 3 months premature at a time when babies often did not live or had profound health problems. I have personality characteristics that have made my life hard sometimes: emotionality and sensitivity to name a couple. In my early adulthood I read a bit about effects of prematurity and saw there were many consequences emotionally to the child. And such were permanent and irreversible. I felt kind of shattered and ashamed. If you think about it, all of us are marked (sometimes, crushed) really in some way by our lives, whether genetically or by difficult experience and relationships. The whole point of life, really, as I see it now that I am older, is to respond to who and where we are in ways that are adaptive and hopeful. We carry culture, each of us. That our individual choices are constructive is the mechanism that allows the human species (and world) to survive. I wonder if our responses to our difficult children are in fact genetically fueled, because we fear we are failing in our mission. Because just like worker ants have their work to do, so do we. And we panic because our little worker ant babies are shirking their jobs! (Sometimes I look at my posts and wonder how you guys can be so patient with me as I travel so far off the reservation.) [/QUOTE]
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