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Can't give an inch...
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<blockquote data-quote="hopeandjoy66" data-source="post: 642581" data-attributes="member: 18181"><p>For our difficult child, his mom just keeps up the enabling. She was getting better and then fell back into the old patterns along with difficult child. I do think she continues this because she knows deep down in her heart that even if she stops the enabling he will not step up to be the adult that he needs to be. If this is what she thinks I think it too. I have absolutely no faith that he will take care of things on his own. He just doesn't care enough. However, if he doesn't care why should I care more than him. EX has sworn to my husband that as long as she is alive he will never become homeless. (Her health is poor).So I guess the cycle continues. My husband has finally got it. "He is a grown man, difficult child" and he and his mom have robbed him of many opportunities to be successful on his own. He now looks for every opportunity for his son to learn lessons and do the life skill that a 31 year old should have...... ie... unplug his own toilet. </p><p>Some times we "Help" because we know that they will not be successful if left on their own. Who knows, he really has never been given that chance. He may surprise us. I doubt it, but in all fairness he hasn't had to because someone is there catching him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hopeandjoy66, post: 642581, member: 18181"] For our difficult child, his mom just keeps up the enabling. She was getting better and then fell back into the old patterns along with difficult child. I do think she continues this because she knows deep down in her heart that even if she stops the enabling he will not step up to be the adult that he needs to be. If this is what she thinks I think it too. I have absolutely no faith that he will take care of things on his own. He just doesn't care enough. However, if he doesn't care why should I care more than him. EX has sworn to my husband that as long as she is alive he will never become homeless. (Her health is poor).So I guess the cycle continues. My husband has finally got it. "He is a grown man, difficult child" and he and his mom have robbed him of many opportunities to be successful on his own. He now looks for every opportunity for his son to learn lessons and do the life skill that a 31 year old should have...... ie... unplug his own toilet. Some times we "Help" because we know that they will not be successful if left on their own. Who knows, he really has never been given that chance. He may surprise us. I doubt it, but in all fairness he hasn't had to because someone is there catching him. [/QUOTE]
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