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Casual conversation about kids
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<blockquote data-quote="dayatatime" data-source="post: 736453" data-attributes="member: 17805"><p>I've been thinking lately that with people I meet in the workplace or other casual, temporary relationships I may stop acknowledging that I have a child. It's easy small talk for most-- do you have kids? how many? what are they studying? what do they do?</p><p></p><p>I love my son, obviously. But this harmless conversational thread seems to lead to unsolicited advice from strangers when I say he's 20, not in school, and not working. Regular civilian don't get that I have no control. I started lying about the where-is-he-living thing a while ago. I generally say with friends, though the truth is that he's in a foster home because he was too violent to stay in my home so I gave up custody. </p><p></p><p>I think I'm going to start saying I don't have any children, so I don't subject myself to the questions that always follow. I'm wondering how others handle these types of interactions??</p><p></p><p>I have never blocked anyone on my phone, but my son is now blocked. He can still leave a message if he wishes, or he can email me. I have told my doorman to stop letting him, and I have changed the locks. I'm at a new level of separating from him due to his choices and his outbursts. It feels awful. About having a kid, I'm having occasional thoughts to myself like, yeah- I had a kid but it didn't work out. And I think that as I think about my future and my aging process I may have to approach it as if I was childless. He's young enough that things may turn around, but they also may not. </p><p></p><p>I'm just wondering how others think about the fact that one has a child, when that child-having is so very far from the public picture of what child-having looks like.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dayatatime, post: 736453, member: 17805"] I've been thinking lately that with people I meet in the workplace or other casual, temporary relationships I may stop acknowledging that I have a child. It's easy small talk for most-- do you have kids? how many? what are they studying? what do they do? I love my son, obviously. But this harmless conversational thread seems to lead to unsolicited advice from strangers when I say he's 20, not in school, and not working. Regular civilian don't get that I have no control. I started lying about the where-is-he-living thing a while ago. I generally say with friends, though the truth is that he's in a foster home because he was too violent to stay in my home so I gave up custody. I think I'm going to start saying I don't have any children, so I don't subject myself to the questions that always follow. I'm wondering how others handle these types of interactions?? I have never blocked anyone on my phone, but my son is now blocked. He can still leave a message if he wishes, or he can email me. I have told my doorman to stop letting him, and I have changed the locks. I'm at a new level of separating from him due to his choices and his outbursts. It feels awful. About having a kid, I'm having occasional thoughts to myself like, yeah- I had a kid but it didn't work out. And I think that as I think about my future and my aging process I may have to approach it as if I was childless. He's young enough that things may turn around, but they also may not. I'm just wondering how others think about the fact that one has a child, when that child-having is so very far from the public picture of what child-having looks like. [/QUOTE]
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