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Substance Abuse
Caught Teen Using Drugs - Help
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<blockquote data-quote="Sam3" data-source="post: 718140" data-attributes="member: 19290"><p>Hi. My brother was also a raging alcoholic with multiple near-death experiences, over a decade starting when I was 16. I realized when my own son went sideways despite my best efforts, that I had a sort of PTSD from my teen years that too greatly affected my parenting. It could not have been easy having me as a parent afflicted with unhealthy hyper vigilance and constant catastrophizing. Though at the time, I was agonizing about the very real dangers of addiction and thought I was imparting wisdom only I could have based on my experiences. Other than my genetic contribution, I certainly didn't cause my sons abuse, but my reactivity also didn't help his flagging self image and is the target of a lot of blame. </p><p></p><p>I'm sharing this not to discourage you from doing whatever it takes to stand between your son and substance abuse -- you should. But I wish I would have known at the beginning of my sons journey, what I now have come to realize after lots of individual therapy (including trauma work), family therapy, al-anon and parent support groups. Substance abuse is crazy making for the sufferer and their loved ones. It's just the nature of the thing. Despite the whack crap that will emit from his mouth, he isn't flawed and neither are you. Love him and set firm consequences for testing positive and follow through. Share your disappointments with the board and trusted adults. Don't make him responsible for your happiness. A substance abuse counselor can add perspective for him without demonizing. Try to reward non-use and better friendships. I know the more I chased trying to catch my son, the more he ran, and the faster both of us went down the rabbit hole.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sam3, post: 718140, member: 19290"] Hi. My brother was also a raging alcoholic with multiple near-death experiences, over a decade starting when I was 16. I realized when my own son went sideways despite my best efforts, that I had a sort of PTSD from my teen years that too greatly affected my parenting. It could not have been easy having me as a parent afflicted with unhealthy hyper vigilance and constant catastrophizing. Though at the time, I was agonizing about the very real dangers of addiction and thought I was imparting wisdom only I could have based on my experiences. Other than my genetic contribution, I certainly didn't cause my sons abuse, but my reactivity also didn't help his flagging self image and is the target of a lot of blame. I'm sharing this not to discourage you from doing whatever it takes to stand between your son and substance abuse -- you should. But I wish I would have known at the beginning of my sons journey, what I now have come to realize after lots of individual therapy (including trauma work), family therapy, al-anon and parent support groups. Substance abuse is crazy making for the sufferer and their loved ones. It's just the nature of the thing. Despite the whack crap that will emit from his mouth, he isn't flawed and neither are you. Love him and set firm consequences for testing positive and follow through. Share your disappointments with the board and trusted adults. Don't make him responsible for your happiness. A substance abuse counselor can add perspective for him without demonizing. Try to reward non-use and better friendships. I know the more I chased trying to catch my son, the more he ran, and the faster both of us went down the rabbit hole. [/QUOTE]
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