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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 692000" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>RN, hang in there. Looking back, the lengths to which I had to go to change our dynamic were...unreal. Getting to the point of talking to him once a week on the phone within a one-hour span of time---turning him away from here for any reason (a meal, a shower, a nap), watching him sleep on a bench outside the day shelter 1.5 miles from my house night after night, month after month, knowing he was walking to McDonald's at 3 a.m. from that bench to get there by 4 a.m. to work without a place to brush his teeth even. </p><p></p><p>Believe me, it was agonizing for a long time. I struggled a lot. But nothing, and I mean nothing I had ever tried to do had ever worked even a little bit. He just got worse and worse the more I tried to "help." I finally had to completely let go like I have described. Sometimes I would buy him food---paying the money directly to the food place. A couple of times I washed his blanket that he wrapped up in on that bench after it rained really hard. That truly was basically it. I felt "mean" a lot of the time. But I also knew I had to be different because I was going insane.</p><p></p><p>My son is now almost 27 (end of July). I think it is really hard for younger men/older boys to have the brain bandwidth to sustain a change. And as you know, relapse is a part of the disease. My son relapsed over and over and over again. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there. We are here for you during all of the times good and bad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 692000, member: 17542"] RN, hang in there. Looking back, the lengths to which I had to go to change our dynamic were...unreal. Getting to the point of talking to him once a week on the phone within a one-hour span of time---turning him away from here for any reason (a meal, a shower, a nap), watching him sleep on a bench outside the day shelter 1.5 miles from my house night after night, month after month, knowing he was walking to McDonald's at 3 a.m. from that bench to get there by 4 a.m. to work without a place to brush his teeth even. Believe me, it was agonizing for a long time. I struggled a lot. But nothing, and I mean nothing I had ever tried to do had ever worked even a little bit. He just got worse and worse the more I tried to "help." I finally had to completely let go like I have described. Sometimes I would buy him food---paying the money directly to the food place. A couple of times I washed his blanket that he wrapped up in on that bench after it rained really hard. That truly was basically it. I felt "mean" a lot of the time. But I also knew I had to be different because I was going insane. My son is now almost 27 (end of July). I think it is really hard for younger men/older boys to have the brain bandwidth to sustain a change. And as you know, relapse is a part of the disease. My son relapsed over and over and over again. Hang in there. We are here for you during all of the times good and bad. [/QUOTE]
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