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General Parenting
Changing my enabling ways....
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<blockquote data-quote="keepongoing" data-source="post: 408371"><p>I find it hard because not only is it not realistic at all to have typical expactations of my son but he also does not have the drive for 'want to do it myself' that my typical girls have. </p><p> While my girls learn as they go along without much planning on my part my son needs the planning. A real eye-opener for me was when I visited a 'lifecollege' for kids on the high functioning autism spectrum where 20 year olds learn how to shop, cook, clean, take regular showers and all the other independent living skills. It's a good program and most kids graduate being able to live independently with some minimal supports. However it's 40,000 a year to attend. Yikes. I realized that if I ever want him out of the house I need to ignore his lethargy and whining and screeching and he needs to learn and do it one skill at a time while he still lives here. I do not have 100,000 for someone else to teach him. One thing I started doing -and maybe I am just tricking myself- is to ignore that screeching and slammed doors and screamed "no"s after I make a reasonable request of him. I started to think of it as his way of getting time to process a request before being able to do it. It has helped me not respond on an emotional level and have things escalate.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keepongoing, post: 408371"] I find it hard because not only is it not realistic at all to have typical expactations of my son but he also does not have the drive for 'want to do it myself' that my typical girls have. While my girls learn as they go along without much planning on my part my son needs the planning. A real eye-opener for me was when I visited a 'lifecollege' for kids on the high functioning autism spectrum where 20 year olds learn how to shop, cook, clean, take regular showers and all the other independent living skills. It's a good program and most kids graduate being able to live independently with some minimal supports. However it's 40,000 a year to attend. Yikes. I realized that if I ever want him out of the house I need to ignore his lethargy and whining and screeching and he needs to learn and do it one skill at a time while he still lives here. I do not have 100,000 for someone else to teach him. One thing I started doing -and maybe I am just tricking myself- is to ignore that screeching and slammed doors and screamed "no"s after I make a reasonable request of him. I started to think of it as his way of getting time to process a request before being able to do it. It has helped me not respond on an emotional level and have things escalate. [/QUOTE]
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