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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 429251" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am glad to hear that you are all safe. I really hope that you can keep him away from therapy with your child until the child has a firm bond with a good therapist who will help him with his volatile father. If you have to find a therapist and keep the appts a secret from your husband, it sounds like it would be worth the work. Not sure if this is possible, but whatever you need to do to protect the kids is a good idea. </p><p></p><p>Have you explored the resources and support the local domestic violence center can offer? They will be able to really help your child find ways to deal with the violence, fear, terror, panic attacks, etc... and they will NOT release details to an abuser even if it is a parent. At least ours will not. I touched upon issues with my gfgbro while I was getting therapy at the center here. At the time he was in their men's program voluntarily. even though he was one of their success stories in many ways, they still would not even confirm that I had been there to him. I know he asked a lot of questions because the therapist warned me that he was being very inappropriate in his interest in what I was doing there. This was one of the things that let me finally accept that our relationship truly is toxic and that I really was being abused by him, even if he didn't treat anyone else the way he treated me. The therapist was very alarmed because he felt he had some right to know every detail of my therapy and he even asked to see videotape of my various sessions. There were no videotapes, nothing was recorded, but he persisted in believing that they had secret tapes of me in therapy and that it was a violation of HIS rights to not let him watch all of them. So I doubt that any DV center would release ANY info to the father. They are also VERY skilled in helping kids with violent parents. And they are free, which never hurts!</p><p></p><p>I am so glad you are not living in fear and that you and hte kids are now able to work on healing. Thank you for letting us know you are safe now. Even though we are a cyber group, we still care very much and worry when we know members are in bad situations. Are you all beginning to process things and accept the fact that you don't have to be so scared? It takes time. </p><p></p><p>((((((((((hugs))))))))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 429251, member: 1233"] I am glad to hear that you are all safe. I really hope that you can keep him away from therapy with your child until the child has a firm bond with a good therapist who will help him with his volatile father. If you have to find a therapist and keep the appts a secret from your husband, it sounds like it would be worth the work. Not sure if this is possible, but whatever you need to do to protect the kids is a good idea. Have you explored the resources and support the local domestic violence center can offer? They will be able to really help your child find ways to deal with the violence, fear, terror, panic attacks, etc... and they will NOT release details to an abuser even if it is a parent. At least ours will not. I touched upon issues with my gfgbro while I was getting therapy at the center here. At the time he was in their men's program voluntarily. even though he was one of their success stories in many ways, they still would not even confirm that I had been there to him. I know he asked a lot of questions because the therapist warned me that he was being very inappropriate in his interest in what I was doing there. This was one of the things that let me finally accept that our relationship truly is toxic and that I really was being abused by him, even if he didn't treat anyone else the way he treated me. The therapist was very alarmed because he felt he had some right to know every detail of my therapy and he even asked to see videotape of my various sessions. There were no videotapes, nothing was recorded, but he persisted in believing that they had secret tapes of me in therapy and that it was a violation of HIS rights to not let him watch all of them. So I doubt that any DV center would release ANY info to the father. They are also VERY skilled in helping kids with violent parents. And they are free, which never hurts! I am so glad you are not living in fear and that you and hte kids are now able to work on healing. Thank you for letting us know you are safe now. Even though we are a cyber group, we still care very much and worry when we know members are in bad situations. Are you all beginning to process things and accept the fact that you don't have to be so scared? It takes time. ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) [/QUOTE]
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