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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 671621" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>We do so because we volunteer to take the hit. The default is--let it be me. And not my child.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately it makes a much bigger mess of things.</p><p>I become frightened when on other threads parents put so much credence into diagnoses. This faith in professionals is not merited by them.</p><p></p><p>Not only do we parents leap into taking not only blame but responsibility for what has gone wrong...we volunteer to be the damaged one. Me, Me, we as if say. Please let it be me. So I can correct it. Do it better.</p><p></p><p>When all along it was life itself, in charge, that can do the remediation. Or G-d. Or our children, best of all.</p><p></p><p>It is this that professionals often do not take sufficiently into account. They believe too readily that it is they who do the healing. Of others. When the healing is in us.</p><p></p><p>They are helped along by the society, who heaps this authority onto them. And what happens to them? They remain broken...without incentive to look at themselves. It is a sad, sad thing, for us all.</p><p></p><p>I want to slip in something about my day today. I went to get M's sister at 10:30. I told her about my idea about the Spanish Speaking Needlework Guild and she loved the idea and wants to do it with me.</p><p></p><p>Our plan is to focus on my house and getting me organized, but begin very quickly in selling stuff I have to get rid of it, which will enable us to learn to take photos and to list stuff to sell on Etsy. I have already done Ebay and will show her how.</p><p></p><p>Very quickly, as soon as we set up a room to be the sewing room we will begin to do crafts, and work in tandem--getting me together, learning new crafts (Peruvian Point, Oya Crochet from Turkey and Felting) along with those we know already. Me, not much. Her, a lot.</p><p></p><p>So when we produce we will have already established a selling process and conduit.</p><p></p><p>At that time we will put up announcements and maybe go to the churches, to establish a guild/collective, with the idea of not only working together but to sell, for people to augment their incomes. A large portion of the population here is involved in seasonal agriculture, so this is the exact time of the year to be thinking of this kind of endeavor.</p><p></p><p>So now I will link this to this thread. We decided to start just the two of us, because we fear if we invite M now, he will want to be boss and establish the rules and know everything better. The plan is to do it, and let him see us learning and succeeding so as to want to do it as a member not the boss. </p><p></p><p>I hope this does not sound negative and condescending.</p><p></p><p>We told him about our plans to a point (but not yet about the guild/collective), and he listened nicely and maintained a positive attitude.</p><p></p><p>I had a talk with M's sister that I want to pay her, not because I need to but because I want to and it is fair. I established that she is not working "for me" but together, and everybody gives what they can. In my case I have not much to give except my ideas and a little money. So there it is.</p><p></p><p>I feel as if I have left the bed, finally, although I am back here to do the computer.</p><p></p><p>I do not know where the rest of you use the computer but I like to recline.</p><p></p><p>I got tired. I am not used to a long day. I cooked for the 3 of us and then her daughter and 3 grandchildren came and there was food for everybody.</p><p></p><p>It is gratifying how much they like my cooking, which is so different than her own. She is amazed how quickly I cook and how flavorsome is the food cooked in the oven. (Where I roast vegetables.) She never uses her oven, cooking everything on the burner. I cook very simply and healthfully and that is the difference. With huge amounts of garlic and onions. I am grateful to be appreciated for something as important as this. They wanted to learn how to prepare everything: the salad dressing, the chicken and meat, the vegetables. I do not think it was only good manners, but partly this.</p><p></p><p>All of us take so for granted our cooking, I think.</p><p></p><p>Tomorrow she comes at 11. And I will get up early to do errands before that. I will try to check in for a few minutes in the morning, and not until evening after that.</p><p></p><p>I am grateful to each of you. I know with one hundred percent certitude that I would not have gotten to this point without you.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 671621, member: 18958"] We do so because we volunteer to take the hit. The default is--let it be me. And not my child. Unfortunately it makes a much bigger mess of things. I become frightened when on other threads parents put so much credence into diagnoses. This faith in professionals is not merited by them. Not only do we parents leap into taking not only blame but responsibility for what has gone wrong...we volunteer to be the damaged one. Me, Me, we as if say. Please let it be me. So I can correct it. Do it better. When all along it was life itself, in charge, that can do the remediation. Or G-d. Or our children, best of all. It is this that professionals often do not take sufficiently into account. They believe too readily that it is they who do the healing. Of others. When the healing is in us. They are helped along by the society, who heaps this authority onto them. And what happens to them? They remain broken...without incentive to look at themselves. It is a sad, sad thing, for us all. I want to slip in something about my day today. I went to get M's sister at 10:30. I told her about my idea about the Spanish Speaking Needlework Guild and she loved the idea and wants to do it with me. Our plan is to focus on my house and getting me organized, but begin very quickly in selling stuff I have to get rid of it, which will enable us to learn to take photos and to list stuff to sell on Etsy. I have already done Ebay and will show her how. Very quickly, as soon as we set up a room to be the sewing room we will begin to do crafts, and work in tandem--getting me together, learning new crafts (Peruvian Point, Oya Crochet from Turkey and Felting) along with those we know already. Me, not much. Her, a lot. So when we produce we will have already established a selling process and conduit. At that time we will put up announcements and maybe go to the churches, to establish a guild/collective, with the idea of not only working together but to sell, for people to augment their incomes. A large portion of the population here is involved in seasonal agriculture, so this is the exact time of the year to be thinking of this kind of endeavor. So now I will link this to this thread. We decided to start just the two of us, because we fear if we invite M now, he will want to be boss and establish the rules and know everything better. The plan is to do it, and let him see us learning and succeeding so as to want to do it as a member not the boss. I hope this does not sound negative and condescending. We told him about our plans to a point (but not yet about the guild/collective), and he listened nicely and maintained a positive attitude. I had a talk with M's sister that I want to pay her, not because I need to but because I want to and it is fair. I established that she is not working "for me" but together, and everybody gives what they can. In my case I have not much to give except my ideas and a little money. So there it is. I feel as if I have left the bed, finally, although I am back here to do the computer. I do not know where the rest of you use the computer but I like to recline. I got tired. I am not used to a long day. I cooked for the 3 of us and then her daughter and 3 grandchildren came and there was food for everybody. It is gratifying how much they like my cooking, which is so different than her own. She is amazed how quickly I cook and how flavorsome is the food cooked in the oven. (Where I roast vegetables.) She never uses her oven, cooking everything on the burner. I cook very simply and healthfully and that is the difference. With huge amounts of garlic and onions. I am grateful to be appreciated for something as important as this. They wanted to learn how to prepare everything: the salad dressing, the chicken and meat, the vegetables. I do not think it was only good manners, but partly this. All of us take so for granted our cooking, I think. Tomorrow she comes at 11. And I will get up early to do errands before that. I will try to check in for a few minutes in the morning, and not until evening after that. I am grateful to each of you. I know with one hundred percent certitude that I would not have gotten to this point without you. COPA [/QUOTE]
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