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"Choices" vs "Circumstances"...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 325889"><p>husband and I were talking about this the other day.</p><p></p><p>difficult child knows a family and they have had some very difficult things handed to them in life.</p><p></p><p>Three young boys....mom was divorced, the lived life with- a mean stepfather...not too much money. Then mom died young. REally bad stuff. Then the bio father came and got them and moved them to our local area. Nice new wife, nice home, etc. All he asked is that they go to school, do their best and/or get jobs.</p><p></p><p>Well, they dropped out of school, did not look for work and even got into trouble with- the law. Eventually, dad kicked them out.</p><p></p><p>We tried to help them, but one of the boys stole from us. He has become an alcoholic,,.and life gets worse and worse for him,.</p><p></p><p>The other two boys...its pretty much for the same. Even when people try to help them, they rip people off. They borrow money and don't pay it back, etc. They don't even apologize or do their best to pay it back. </p><p>Then they make the excuses..."My mother died when I was young and life was tough."</p><p></p><p>The weird thing is that most people really, honestly DO feel very bad for these young boys and want to help them. But they can't help them if they do not help them selves. And they would be stupid to help them if the boys hurt them by stealing and/or being dishonest.</p><p></p><p>So, I do believe that life is not fair. Life was not fair to these young men. They certainly started off at a disadvantage and this is an unpleasant thing.</p><p></p><p>However, if they were able to kinda let that go and look at it differently...look at all the nice people...strangers even...who were willing to offer them jobs, who were even willing to forgive them when they didn't deserve it (the first time), then they could do better for themselves.</p><p></p><p>Instead, they have made a choice to concentrate on their difficulties and not look at the positives and what opportunities might be ahead of them if they work hard, made good friends with good people....it would very likely snowball for them in a positive way. Their "luck" would change....but it really starts with them.</p><p></p><p>LIfe handed them something hard as children and as children we are limited...it is basically impossible to do for ourselves.</p><p></p><p>But after that....choice is very powerful. And if you make a bad choice (we are imperfect creatures) we do have a choice to make a better choice next go around. </p><p></p><p>These boys, as near as I can tell, have made many bad choices in a row and as long as they repeat this pattern...my guess is their circumstances will continue to be less than favorable and at this point it has little to do with- where they came from.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 325889"] husband and I were talking about this the other day. difficult child knows a family and they have had some very difficult things handed to them in life. Three young boys....mom was divorced, the lived life with- a mean stepfather...not too much money. Then mom died young. REally bad stuff. Then the bio father came and got them and moved them to our local area. Nice new wife, nice home, etc. All he asked is that they go to school, do their best and/or get jobs. Well, they dropped out of school, did not look for work and even got into trouble with- the law. Eventually, dad kicked them out. We tried to help them, but one of the boys stole from us. He has become an alcoholic,,.and life gets worse and worse for him,. The other two boys...its pretty much for the same. Even when people try to help them, they rip people off. They borrow money and don't pay it back, etc. They don't even apologize or do their best to pay it back. Then they make the excuses..."My mother died when I was young and life was tough." The weird thing is that most people really, honestly DO feel very bad for these young boys and want to help them. But they can't help them if they do not help them selves. And they would be stupid to help them if the boys hurt them by stealing and/or being dishonest. So, I do believe that life is not fair. Life was not fair to these young men. They certainly started off at a disadvantage and this is an unpleasant thing. However, if they were able to kinda let that go and look at it differently...look at all the nice people...strangers even...who were willing to offer them jobs, who were even willing to forgive them when they didn't deserve it (the first time), then they could do better for themselves. Instead, they have made a choice to concentrate on their difficulties and not look at the positives and what opportunities might be ahead of them if they work hard, made good friends with good people....it would very likely snowball for them in a positive way. Their "luck" would change....but it really starts with them. LIfe handed them something hard as children and as children we are limited...it is basically impossible to do for ourselves. But after that....choice is very powerful. And if you make a bad choice (we are imperfect creatures) we do have a choice to make a better choice next go around. These boys, as near as I can tell, have made many bad choices in a row and as long as they repeat this pattern...my guess is their circumstances will continue to be less than favorable and at this point it has little to do with- where they came from. [/QUOTE]
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