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Christmas dilemma....
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 468455"><p>Hi PG,</p><p></p><p>Oh these situations do sure pull at our heartstrings don't they? I really feel for you. Here are my thoughts....</p><p></p><p>Meth is such a serious drug and serious addiction. Your difficult child needs serious help and you are absolutely right you can't do it for her, she has to want this herself. Doesn't sound like she is there at this point in time. Unfortunately if she is admitting to using, just not as much, she is probably using a lot. I think we all know that our difficult child addicts admit to a lot less drug use than is reality. I can imagine the dread and need you have to find out if she went to class... my guess is she didn't but hopefully that is just me being cynical.</p><p></p><p>So given that she has a serious drug addiction I really don't think you can make your Xmas plans revolve around her at all. Who knows if she would even show up if you stayed at home? And if you did stay home and she is actively using good chance she would ruin it for you all and for easy child. I think at this point you need to think about your self and easy child and what is good for him. Would he like to go away for Xmas? If so then I think you should definitely go and leave guilty behind.</p><p></p><p>If you do go I would be absolutely honest with her about why you are going without her. "I don't trust you to be pleasant and enjoyable since you are actively using drugs". And yes go without her.... bad enough she could ruin an Xmas at home but it would be awful to have her do that while you are visiting family!</p><p></p><p>And who knows it may be what she needs to take a look at herself and her choices. It was hard this summer when we went overseas without my son and he ended up homeless....yet I had a good time in spite of him. AND I think that experience with us being away and him really having to fend for himself did something to him.... such that a couple weeks after we got back he really asked for help and is now in rehab. I think he was pretty miserable and finally came to the conclusion he doesn't want to be miserable... now as we all know there is no guarantee that will last but still at least it is a ray of hope.</p><p></p><p>I hope you go and that you have a great time too.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 468455"] Hi PG, Oh these situations do sure pull at our heartstrings don't they? I really feel for you. Here are my thoughts.... Meth is such a serious drug and serious addiction. Your difficult child needs serious help and you are absolutely right you can't do it for her, she has to want this herself. Doesn't sound like she is there at this point in time. Unfortunately if she is admitting to using, just not as much, she is probably using a lot. I think we all know that our difficult child addicts admit to a lot less drug use than is reality. I can imagine the dread and need you have to find out if she went to class... my guess is she didn't but hopefully that is just me being cynical. So given that she has a serious drug addiction I really don't think you can make your Xmas plans revolve around her at all. Who knows if she would even show up if you stayed at home? And if you did stay home and she is actively using good chance she would ruin it for you all and for easy child. I think at this point you need to think about your self and easy child and what is good for him. Would he like to go away for Xmas? If so then I think you should definitely go and leave guilty behind. If you do go I would be absolutely honest with her about why you are going without her. "I don't trust you to be pleasant and enjoyable since you are actively using drugs". And yes go without her.... bad enough she could ruin an Xmas at home but it would be awful to have her do that while you are visiting family! And who knows it may be what she needs to take a look at herself and her choices. It was hard this summer when we went overseas without my son and he ended up homeless....yet I had a good time in spite of him. AND I think that experience with us being away and him really having to fend for himself did something to him.... such that a couple weeks after we got back he really asked for help and is now in rehab. I think he was pretty miserable and finally came to the conclusion he doesn't want to be miserable... now as we all know there is no guarantee that will last but still at least it is a ray of hope. I hope you go and that you have a great time too. TL [/QUOTE]
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