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Chronicle of A Failed Suicide Attempt
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 719908" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Well, that is A LOT. As you likely know, one person's love for another, even in these kinds of horrific circumstances, can make a HUGE difference. There is nothing you need to do, just be there and love him.....and mirror your own self love and self compassion.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>My son-in-law's mother was the same, she orchestrated the assault on myself and my daughter in the aftermath of the suicide....she kept it going for years and years, the bitterness and ugliness knew no bounds. In one of my suicide support groups, the therapist told us that the parents of the person who committed suicide will actively look for someone to blame. Interestingly, we were told that if there is no one to blame, they will often blame the authorities, the police, the medical people....they WILL find someone to blame.</p><p></p><p>For the last 17 years I've held on to my integrity and taken care of myself while letting the children know I was always there. Recently at a wedding, the first wife of my son-in-law, (who was also part of the major craziness that went on all those years ago), thanked me for being there for her 2 daughters (my daughter's step daughters) for all of these years while she was struggling with addiction. Just being me and caring for the kids made an enormous difference. I couldn't see it for many years, but now that the kids are all grown, they have told me how much it meant to have me quietly on the sidelines, NOT engaging in the insanity, but simply being the calm and stable voice of reason and love. I never knew how much it meant to the kids and remarkably to their mother as well, who I didn't know at all, had never even met.</p><p></p><p>Being you......is enough. There is nothing else you have to do. You're doing a really good job with your boundaries and self care....and I know how hard it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 719908, member: 13542"] Well, that is A LOT. As you likely know, one person's love for another, even in these kinds of horrific circumstances, can make a HUGE difference. There is nothing you need to do, just be there and love him.....and mirror your own self love and self compassion. My son-in-law's mother was the same, she orchestrated the assault on myself and my daughter in the aftermath of the suicide....she kept it going for years and years, the bitterness and ugliness knew no bounds. In one of my suicide support groups, the therapist told us that the parents of the person who committed suicide will actively look for someone to blame. Interestingly, we were told that if there is no one to blame, they will often blame the authorities, the police, the medical people....they WILL find someone to blame. For the last 17 years I've held on to my integrity and taken care of myself while letting the children know I was always there. Recently at a wedding, the first wife of my son-in-law, (who was also part of the major craziness that went on all those years ago), thanked me for being there for her 2 daughters (my daughter's step daughters) for all of these years while she was struggling with addiction. Just being me and caring for the kids made an enormous difference. I couldn't see it for many years, but now that the kids are all grown, they have told me how much it meant to have me quietly on the sidelines, NOT engaging in the insanity, but simply being the calm and stable voice of reason and love. I never knew how much it meant to the kids and remarkably to their mother as well, who I didn't know at all, had never even met. Being you......is enough. There is nothing else you have to do. You're doing a really good job with your boundaries and self care....and I know how hard it is. [/QUOTE]
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