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General Parenting
cognitive inflexibility--HELP!
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<blockquote data-quote="rlsnights" data-source="post: 323475" data-attributes="member: 7948"><p>OMG. I remember the first time we all watched a movie together at home. It was a Friday night and difficult child 2 was 7. From then on - every Friday night was "movie night"! Huge meltdowns every Friday for the next 2-3 years if we didn't watch a movie.</p><p></p><p>No you are not alone.</p><p></p><p>I no longer do "if ... then" arrangements with my difficult child 2. I decided that major melt downs were not worth it and that approach was very clearly NOT teaching the desired lesson. He just can't handle that format at this point.</p><p></p><p>So instead, whenever possible, I choose activities that meet my needs and his needs, figure out how to structure his time given all the constraints and then tell him what he is going to do when. For example, I might tell him - you will work on your homework from 4 to 4:30. At 4:30 we will go for a walk. If he's not finished with his homework at 4:30 we still go for the walk.</p><p></p><p>Don't know if this is helpful but it might be worth a try. And it can't always be done.</p><p></p><p>The other thought I had was to have him write down all his complaints and his feelings that you are lying, etc. in a notebook for you to read instead of telling you them out loud. If you can get him to do this it might be very helpful to both of you. Then you can write a reply in his notebook if you want and he will have it to refer to in the future.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rlsnights, post: 323475, member: 7948"] OMG. I remember the first time we all watched a movie together at home. It was a Friday night and difficult child 2 was 7. From then on - every Friday night was "movie night"! Huge meltdowns every Friday for the next 2-3 years if we didn't watch a movie. No you are not alone. I no longer do "if ... then" arrangements with my difficult child 2. I decided that major melt downs were not worth it and that approach was very clearly NOT teaching the desired lesson. He just can't handle that format at this point. So instead, whenever possible, I choose activities that meet my needs and his needs, figure out how to structure his time given all the constraints and then tell him what he is going to do when. For example, I might tell him - you will work on your homework from 4 to 4:30. At 4:30 we will go for a walk. If he's not finished with his homework at 4:30 we still go for the walk. Don't know if this is helpful but it might be worth a try. And it can't always be done. The other thought I had was to have him write down all his complaints and his feelings that you are lying, etc. in a notebook for you to read instead of telling you them out loud. If you can get him to do this it might be very helpful to both of you. Then you can write a reply in his notebook if you want and he will have it to refer to in the future. [/QUOTE]
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cognitive inflexibility--HELP!
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