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Parent Emeritus
College tuition payment for our Difficult Child
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 705162" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>As for her coming out, that is just more drama. She may do this a few more times, probably at least somewhat publicly. Why? She seems to crave the drama and this is an area that just gets everyone involved and talking and many people seem to have the opinion that if you are not supportive no matter what then you are just a horrible person and you can be bashed. If she truly has a gender identity disorder, that is a shame but that is HER problem, it is NOT something you caused or made worse or should feel that you had a hand in. In my own opinion, given from limited information, your daughter is drawn to conflama. Conflict + drama = conflama (not my original word, but one that fits so many difficult children). It truly is what they want and need, and how they get it is FAR less important than actually getting it. </p><p></p><p>As for the university, if someone doesn't pay the bills, she will not be able to attend classes. That is a basic truth at any university. But she is capable of paying her own way, of working and getting loans and grants to pay for her education. I grew up on university campuses and MANY students, including international students, pay their own tuition and expenses with little or no help from home. Sometimes because their family cannot help, sometimes because their family thinks they need to pay their own way to grow up and become an adult. Haven't you already paid for much of her studies? Contact an attorney, let the university know that all bills are not your problem as your daughter is an adult, and do what you need to in order to enjoy YOUR life. If other people have a problem with what you are doing with your daughter, then THEY have a problem. YOU do not. </p><p></p><p>(((((hugs))))) Be good to yourself. Treat yourself to something just because - doesn't need to be something big, just something little that will make you feel good.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 705162, member: 1233"] As for her coming out, that is just more drama. She may do this a few more times, probably at least somewhat publicly. Why? She seems to crave the drama and this is an area that just gets everyone involved and talking and many people seem to have the opinion that if you are not supportive no matter what then you are just a horrible person and you can be bashed. If she truly has a gender identity disorder, that is a shame but that is HER problem, it is NOT something you caused or made worse or should feel that you had a hand in. In my own opinion, given from limited information, your daughter is drawn to conflama. Conflict + drama = conflama (not my original word, but one that fits so many difficult children). It truly is what they want and need, and how they get it is FAR less important than actually getting it. As for the university, if someone doesn't pay the bills, she will not be able to attend classes. That is a basic truth at any university. But she is capable of paying her own way, of working and getting loans and grants to pay for her education. I grew up on university campuses and MANY students, including international students, pay their own tuition and expenses with little or no help from home. Sometimes because their family cannot help, sometimes because their family thinks they need to pay their own way to grow up and become an adult. Haven't you already paid for much of her studies? Contact an attorney, let the university know that all bills are not your problem as your daughter is an adult, and do what you need to in order to enjoy YOUR life. If other people have a problem with what you are doing with your daughter, then THEY have a problem. YOU do not. (((((hugs))))) Be good to yourself. Treat yourself to something just because - doesn't need to be something big, just something little that will make you feel good. [/QUOTE]
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