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Concerned about 12-year old granddaughter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 717755" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have adopted kids. Some came older...the older the harder. Why didnt her biological parents jeep her? There is a story there. That us cutting her off from them at three months....</p><p></p><p>In 12 year olds case she was readopted against her will at age five to parents she didnt know. Most likely she has attachment problems, which causes remorseless bad behavior and stops the child who had been shuffled from family to family to have trouble attaching to or loving anyone. We had teo older adopted kids with these problems. One was sloof. Tje other turned dangerous and had to leave.</p><p></p><p>I take it this child never even had counseling for this major life shift from you to uninvolved biryh parents. Not a good plan.</p><p></p><p>Im not surprised by this girls behavior and feel badly that she had been shifted around. There seems to be little sympathy for this major family change. It is traumatic, bio parents or not...strangers to her.Material goods do not cause attachment...stable family and consistent caregivers do. You can rehome a dog fine. Humans are way dufferent. I mean no harshness. Just factual.</p><p></p><p>I would try to find a special adoption therapist who understands attachment disorders...or things can get way worse. She has been through A LOT. I wish it were handled more gently and with therspeutic help to get thus girl ready to change from your home to bio. Parents hime. Could hsve helped. Do seek therspy abut this, even late in the game. She sounds very unhappy. Of course she knows her parents gave her up, but never gave up her siblings. Trust me, that hurts.</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 717755, member: 1550"] I have adopted kids. Some came older...the older the harder. Why didnt her biological parents jeep her? There is a story there. That us cutting her off from them at three months.... In 12 year olds case she was readopted against her will at age five to parents she didnt know. Most likely she has attachment problems, which causes remorseless bad behavior and stops the child who had been shuffled from family to family to have trouble attaching to or loving anyone. We had teo older adopted kids with these problems. One was sloof. Tje other turned dangerous and had to leave. I take it this child never even had counseling for this major life shift from you to uninvolved biryh parents. Not a good plan. Im not surprised by this girls behavior and feel badly that she had been shifted around. There seems to be little sympathy for this major family change. It is traumatic, bio parents or not...strangers to her.Material goods do not cause attachment...stable family and consistent caregivers do. You can rehome a dog fine. Humans are way dufferent. I mean no harshness. Just factual. I would try to find a special adoption therapist who understands attachment disorders...or things can get way worse. She has been through A LOT. I wish it were handled more gently and with therspeutic help to get thus girl ready to change from your home to bio. Parents hime. Could hsve helped. Do seek therspy abut this, even late in the game. She sounds very unhappy. Of course she knows her parents gave her up, but never gave up her siblings. Trust me, that hurts. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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Concerned about 12-year old granddaughter
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