Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Concerned about 12-year old granddaughter
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 717859" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>OH, one parent is ALWAYS to blame for everything. It is the parent they feel safest with. I was that parent with my difficult kid. He lashed out at me something awful because he knew I would love him and draw boundaries anyway. He knew he could hate me if he wanted, I would love him anyway. I would not put up with his nonsense, but I would still love him. Does that make sense? It sure is not any fun to be that parent - do something extra nice for her mom!!</p><p></p><p>I would make sure they drug test the girl. 12 is far from too young to experiment with drugs. It often is part of the reason for a shift in behavior and it can be hard to tell why behavior is changing. Often drugs start in late elementary or middle school. My dad was a middle school/junior high teacher and he saw a LOT of drugs, and not just pot, in the schools. </p><p></p><p>I am not saying there are not other problems. Attachment issues and adoption issues are probably there also. But often these are first expressed by experimenting with drugs. Sometimes it only is called experimenting, and it really is addiction from the beginning. From what my difficult child has told me, it is pretty easy to find almost any drug you want in a psychiatric hospital. Don't let her being in the hospital make you assume she is clean. I still remember how shocked I was when I learned that my son wasn't asking to go to the psychiatric hospital to get help, he was asking to go because the girl he liked was going to be there that night. We paid all that money, 3 different times, for him to go meet up with the girl he liked. It would have been a heck of a lot cheaper to get them a motel room! NOT that I would have done it - and heknew that!! He was only 13 or 14!! You just never know what they are thinking or trying to do.</p><p></p><p>As they are looking into medication, ask them to do the DNA test to find the best medications. I know for antidepressants (if they are looking into those) they can find the ones most likely to work or not work by doing a simple cheek swab. It saves a TON of trial and error, and also can save a lot of time and side effects. Also remember to read read read about any condition and medication. </p><p></p><p>Be wary of the ODD diagnosis. It is more of a description than a diagnosis, in my opinion. It really doesn't tell you much. A diagnosis should help point you toward treatment. ODD tells you what is happening, but does not tell you how to treat it in ANY way. It gives you no real help. Almost every child who is taken to get help gets this diagnosis whether they have autism, adhd, bipolar or another disorder. My own mother called it "teenager-itis" when she read the description of it in the diagnostic manual. I thought it could be given to most teens whether they were getting psychiatric help or not. It certainly isn't going to be anything that gives any real help to your granddaughter, and if you let your search for help stop there, you will regret it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 717859, member: 1233"] OH, one parent is ALWAYS to blame for everything. It is the parent they feel safest with. I was that parent with my difficult kid. He lashed out at me something awful because he knew I would love him and draw boundaries anyway. He knew he could hate me if he wanted, I would love him anyway. I would not put up with his nonsense, but I would still love him. Does that make sense? It sure is not any fun to be that parent - do something extra nice for her mom!! I would make sure they drug test the girl. 12 is far from too young to experiment with drugs. It often is part of the reason for a shift in behavior and it can be hard to tell why behavior is changing. Often drugs start in late elementary or middle school. My dad was a middle school/junior high teacher and he saw a LOT of drugs, and not just pot, in the schools. I am not saying there are not other problems. Attachment issues and adoption issues are probably there also. But often these are first expressed by experimenting with drugs. Sometimes it only is called experimenting, and it really is addiction from the beginning. From what my difficult child has told me, it is pretty easy to find almost any drug you want in a psychiatric hospital. Don't let her being in the hospital make you assume she is clean. I still remember how shocked I was when I learned that my son wasn't asking to go to the psychiatric hospital to get help, he was asking to go because the girl he liked was going to be there that night. We paid all that money, 3 different times, for him to go meet up with the girl he liked. It would have been a heck of a lot cheaper to get them a motel room! NOT that I would have done it - and heknew that!! He was only 13 or 14!! You just never know what they are thinking or trying to do. As they are looking into medication, ask them to do the DNA test to find the best medications. I know for antidepressants (if they are looking into those) they can find the ones most likely to work or not work by doing a simple cheek swab. It saves a TON of trial and error, and also can save a lot of time and side effects. Also remember to read read read about any condition and medication. Be wary of the ODD diagnosis. It is more of a description than a diagnosis, in my opinion. It really doesn't tell you much. A diagnosis should help point you toward treatment. ODD tells you what is happening, but does not tell you how to treat it in ANY way. It gives you no real help. Almost every child who is taken to get help gets this diagnosis whether they have autism, adhd, bipolar or another disorder. My own mother called it "teenager-itis" when she read the description of it in the diagnostic manual. I thought it could be given to most teens whether they were getting psychiatric help or not. It certainly isn't going to be anything that gives any real help to your granddaughter, and if you let your search for help stop there, you will regret it. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Concerned about 12-year old granddaughter
Top