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Concerned about 12-year old granddaughter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 717880" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>And attachment disorder has a different cause, but identical symptoms to conduct disorder.</p><p></p><p>I am not a fan of an ODD diagnosis either. It kind of just means "defiant child" without an explanation of why for better treatment.</p><p></p><p>I would bet she has attachment issues galore. Look up reactive attachment disorder. Most people without adopted kids never heard of it, including many mental health professionals.</p><p>We adopted a healthy six year old boy who always was well behaved snd smart, but aloof and distant. Right after his wedding he dumped the family and has not spoken to us for fifteen years. He has found his birth relatives per his friends on Facebook list. However the relatives live in the far east.</p><p></p><p>Six was too old for him to bond with us. He never did.</p><p></p><p>Love does not cure all. Yes, I thought love was what mattered too. But it didnt overtake six years in a very nice orphanage. He could bond with peers (peers were his constant in the orphanage) but could not bond with us as his family. The children we adopted as infants are fine, bonded and doing well. </p><p></p><p>Early instability is very important to the development of a young childs brain. You can rehome a dog and the dog will bond, often quickly. But it doesnt work with humans. It causes an inability to trust because early caregivers were ripped away or never there and the developing brain tells them that they need to take carebof #1 because nobody stays. This mindset seperates them from others, morals towards others become unimportant, and life problems develop. And, yes, the symptoms are like conduct disorder. A crazy early life causes limited empathy.</p><p></p><p>This gd may be thinking of her birthmother when she thinks about her mother. Hard to say. Could be why there is extra anger toward her. But in attachment disorder, love scares the person. They act worse when loved.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 717880, member: 1550"] And attachment disorder has a different cause, but identical symptoms to conduct disorder. I am not a fan of an ODD diagnosis either. It kind of just means "defiant child" without an explanation of why for better treatment. I would bet she has attachment issues galore. Look up reactive attachment disorder. Most people without adopted kids never heard of it, including many mental health professionals. We adopted a healthy six year old boy who always was well behaved snd smart, but aloof and distant. Right after his wedding he dumped the family and has not spoken to us for fifteen years. He has found his birth relatives per his friends on Facebook list. However the relatives live in the far east. Six was too old for him to bond with us. He never did. Love does not cure all. Yes, I thought love was what mattered too. But it didnt overtake six years in a very nice orphanage. He could bond with peers (peers were his constant in the orphanage) but could not bond with us as his family. The children we adopted as infants are fine, bonded and doing well. Early instability is very important to the development of a young childs brain. You can rehome a dog and the dog will bond, often quickly. But it doesnt work with humans. It causes an inability to trust because early caregivers were ripped away or never there and the developing brain tells them that they need to take carebof #1 because nobody stays. This mindset seperates them from others, morals towards others become unimportant, and life problems develop. And, yes, the symptoms are like conduct disorder. A crazy early life causes limited empathy. This gd may be thinking of her birthmother when she thinks about her mother. Hard to say. Could be why there is extra anger toward her. But in attachment disorder, love scares the person. They act worse when loved. [/QUOTE]
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